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TEXAS TECH AND THE MATT TEMPLE OF DOOM

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The newest entry in our series of screenplays highlights everyone's favorite former rec league basketball player.

Editor's Note - This screenplay will function differently than our previous ones. There just aren't that many good dialogue moments in Temple of Doom. It's clearly the inferior of the original 3. Fight me over my movie opinions.
CAST:

Indiana Jones - Matt Temple

Short Round - Devaugntah Williams

Willie Scott - Zach Smith

Mola Ram - Trent Johnson

Lao Che - Buddy Hield

Wu Han - Aaron Ross

PLOT:

Our story begins with notorious crime boss Buddy Hield and Matt Temple in a upper-class club in Shanghai. Buddy has been looking for the remains of Blake Griffin, one of the emperors of the Sooner's dynasty, for some time. Matt Temple has finally found Blake Griffin's remains, and wishes to barter them for a chance to enter the NCAA Tournament.

Things quickly turn south as Hield does not hold up the end of his bargain. The victory given to Texas Tech and Matt Temple flips back and forth between the two as the onlooking pundits debate wether it's enough to finally make it into March Madness. Aaron Ross, Temple's right hand man, breaks his disguise as a waiter to force the issue. After a bullet to the chest fells Ross, who retires with 0 points, Temple and his hostage, the forever goofy Zach Smith, are picked up by Devaugntah Williams and are hurriedly transported to an airplane to take them to the Big XII tournament while they have an insane run-and-gun battle with the Sooners and Hield.

Notable Dialogue -

DEVAUGNTAH WILLIAMS - Wow! Holy Smoke! Crash Landing?

MATT TEMPLE - Step on it, Short Williams

DEVAUGNTAH WILLIAMS - Okey Dokey Dr. Temple

/Williams turns his hat backwards like Ash Ketchum in an episode of Pokemon

DEVAUGNTAH WILLIAMS - Hold on to your tortillas!

ZACH SMITH - For crying out loud, there's a kid driving the car!

MATT TEMPLE - Relax, I've been giving him lessons!

***

En route to the Big XII Championship, Matt Temple and friends crashland in the outskirts of Kansas City, where they meet a couple of very helpful Big XII officials. After some very tense dialogue full of comically veiled foreshadowing, Temple & co finally make to to Kansas City, where the game with TCU is about to begin. As Temple begins to question around, he learns that there have been several sacred stone that have been missing from the Big XII vault. One was stolen from the clocktower in Austin, one from Baylor's secret cache of Baptist Gold that they use to pay recruits, and the final one, Bob Bowlsby's glass eye, was just taken recently.

Matt Temple and Devaughntah Williams head to the locker room to get ready for the game, when they happen to swing by TCU's locker room. To their shock, they find Trent Johnson leading the team in an ancient Ki Froggie religious sacrifice! Trent Johnson has a walkon bound to a whiteboard, and then rips out the man's heart and eats it, which freaks the hell out of our Texas Tech affiliated protagonists. Johnson's acolytes hear the yelping from the door, and manage to capture Temple.

Temple is made to drink some weird Fort Worth brewed IPA, which causes him to fall completely under Trent Johnson's spell. Devaugntah Williams and Zach Smith, captured as well, can do nothing but look on as Matt Temple is about to be sacrificed to the archaic Froggie gods.

All of a sudden, Devaugntah Williams manages to free himself, and drives the lane in between two TCU defenders. He lays up a mysterious object to Temple. It's his pledge pin from Delta Tau Delta! With his pledge pin firmly secured on his lapel, Temple regains his senses, spitting out the rest of that "hippie expensive crap", and promptly begins pounding Coors Light like it's the last case in the world.

A huge fight breaks out. No one know's what's going on. Temple, Williams, and Smith manage to escape up to the court, which has been warped into a bridge by the Froggie demonic forces. All of a sudden, our heroes are hemmed in on both sides! Temple turns to his friends, saying,

Notable Dialogue:

MATT TEMPLE: Zach, hang on! I went through something like this when I was playing intramurals!

ZACH SMITH: (realizing what's about to happen) Oh my god! Oh my god! Is he nuts?

DEVAUGNTAH WILLIAMS: He no nuts, he crazy!

MATT TEMPLE: TRENT JOHNSON, PREPARE TO MEET FROGGIE... IN HELL!

***

Matt Temple spikes his beer can as hard as he possibly can, causing the precarious hardwood bridge to collapse. Temple, Williams, and Smith survive somehow. As they dust themselves off, Bowlsby comes up to them, saying,

"Okay, now I know that you boys did a good thing here. But you also killed an entire team. Victory goes to TCU."

FIN