Monday Matador Mailbag, 3-14

SERIOUS QUESTIONS:

Oliver, this is a really good question without a definitive answer. I could be really pedantic and give the hyper douchey answer of "there's always a shot" but that answer has no substance. To put it shortly, after his performance at Texas Tech's Pro Day, yes I do.

Size is a crazy important thing for NFL scouts and college recruiters. We, the fans, are enraptured by heart, will, and drive. These things are great! There's nothing wrong with being a smaller player that plays like The Fridge, but ultimately Scouts will always default to size. The reason for this is simple: at the highest levels, coaches are good enough to where they should supposedly be able to coach heart, will, and drive into their players. No matter how good a coach is, he can't coach a kid to be taller, faster, or stronger.

And therein lies the truth of the matter. Bigger, stronger, and faster will forever win out against heart, will and drive, specifically because those intangibles can be taught. Before Friday, we knew Jakeem was fast, but we didn't know how fast. Now that this all-important question is answered with "Jesus Christ he could probably catch a slower gazelle if he really wanted to", I think he has a great chance of being picked up as a return man in free agency. Maybe not the Cowboys (I want him there too), but maybe the Saints. Maybe the Raiders, who are enraptured with speed. Maybe the 9'ers. But now that Grant has shown that he has the tangibles to go along with the intangibles, I think he gets picked up for sure.

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@vivathematador is our football team gonna be good or trash this coming year

— brady mandrell (@bradymandrell3) March 13, 2016

I think that this all depends on your definition of good or trash. I've spoken with several who thought last year's 7-6 record was trash. Personally, I thought it was pretty good, a huge improvement on a struggle of a year in 2014.

The key parts that point to us being good are threefold: the continuity of a defensive coordinator, the return of key defensive players, and the apparent breakout of offensive talent.

We finally have a defensive coordinator that is staying more than a year. That in of itself is huge. Many Texas Tech players have already talked about how much easier it is to simply be reviewing a scheme than learning a new one in it's entirety. I think this is going to allow us to become even more comfortable with an already proven set of players.

I will never be shy about my love of young defensive players Dakota Allen, D'Vonta Hinton, Breiden Fehoko, and Jah'Shawn Johnson. While as a whole the defense had more holes than the Maginot line in 1940, these young men showed real improvement and playmaking ability. If I was Gibbs, (I'm not), I would build a base around these players. With Fehoko at DT, Hinton and Allen at MLB, and Johnson roving at FS, the middle of our defense should be the stoutest it's been in 3 years.

Patrick Mahomes is Patrick Mahomes. However, he can't throw the ball to himself. He's going to need some serious help from the WRs and RBs if he wants to keep the same production year-to-year. Fortunately, Kingsbury has been praising the O-Skill players for coming along nicely so far in Spring Football. Zach Austin got horizontal for a one-handed catch in practice. Tony Brown has excelled so far. Ian Sadler has technically already broken out.

If those three factors improve, I think that we can call our team good in the fall. If they don't, we'll likely be trash.

SILLY QUESTIONS:

By using a combination of your mouth, diaphragm, vocal cords, and lungs, all in the appropriate measurements.

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@vivathematador who runs this account pic.twitter.com/z02kjqvT5g

— Luis A Marroquin (@lamarroquin16) March 13, 2016

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@vivathematador what is the airspeed velocity of a flour tortilla?

— Jon Luke Ingle (@JonLukeIngle) March 13, 2016

I have a degree in history, not in theoretical tortilla physics.

Thankfully, I do have a hypothesis:

Fast.

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@vivathematador who would win in a race? Jakeem Grant or Barry Allen?

— Jon Luke Ingle (@JonLukeIngle) March 13, 2016

For those of you unversed in Superhero stuff, Barry Allen is the Flash. This presents an interesting conundrum. Obviously, Barry Allen is not real. But there are some that argue that Jakeem Grant's 40 time exists only in hyperbole. If we are going with the assumption that 4.10 is not real (even though it was timed by multiple people at an event with no laser timing, so we'll never know for sure), Jakeem Grant could theoretically exist in the same timeline as Barry Allen.

But if Jakeem Grant and Barry Allen exist on the same timeline, who is to say that Jakeem Grant wouldn't be the Flash, and beat Barry Allen at his own weird superhero game, thereby causing Barry Allen to just be another painfully unfunny wisecracking civilian?

Essentially Jakeem Grant is the Flash on multiple timelines and this question is invalid.

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@vivathematador why does Jonathan hate Mad Max so much?

— Drew (@andrew_denova_7) March 12, 2016

Jonathan hates Mad Max for many reasons, none of which I will allow him to state himself. While the horrendously predictable and awful thing would be to say Jonathan hates Mad Max because Jonathan hates himself, I have a much less sinister theory: Jonathan is afraid of cars.

All of Jonathan's favorite movies are Christopher Nolan movies, which mostly involve superheroes running or flying to reach their destinations. Don't give me the "Batmobile is a car" deal, it's a tank, Batman himself says so. Jonathan has a clear aversion to any films with cars in them, which is a projection of his internal feelings.

Mad Max is pretty much all cars. There are cars racing. There are cars blowing up. There are cars whose only purpose is to be a massive speaker for mood music. I do not blame Jonathan for not liking Mad Max. I despise heights. I've written before about nearly freaking out at the very top row of DKR, and I think the scariest movie I've ever seen is Everest. It makes sense that Jon would hate Mad Max, I think most people who have a phobia of cars do.

Editor's Note: Jonathan does not have a phobia of cars. In fact, as you read this, he's probably typing up a sassy retort to this in the comments section that he hopes will goad me into a discussion about the merits of noted hack Christoper Nolan and/or perceived car-phobia. Ha ha Jon, I have out meta-ed you, I win.

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@vivathematador why did my ex leave me

— J (@J2theadrian) March 13, 2016

Judging by your Twitter avatar, you drink Miller Lite and you are missing the top half of your face. If you remedy these two things you might win her back.

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