Leonard Fournette looks like a Whopper that got dropped on the floor of a movie theater and got a bunch of hair all over him.

All jokes aside, we played Fournette pretty good. I'm hopeful. But this article isn't about jokes.

Finn is definitely the Jakeem Grant of the Star Wars world. Plucky, underrated dude who makes some serious waves.

Paul Banks III sounds like a scrapped name for a villain in a 60's movie.

If Paul Banks and Nigel Bethel start alongside each other can we start calling them the Law Firm? Because that's totally what they sound like.

No one fights on twitter better than Texas and Texas A&M. In every single category (Frequency, Emotion, Baseless Insults) they absolutely throttle every other rivalry slap fight.

Lee Corso listening to hip-hop is much more likely and plausible than me ever drinking a Coke Zero.

Kansas is the Cyril Figgus of the college football world. In basketball they transform into Archer though.

I was at the game on Tuesday, and LSU fans don't smell like corndogs. They smell like moonshine and swamp.

I call Texas "Donald Trump" because they got a lot of money, they're more concerned with business than running an effective campaign, and a lot of people love them despite they only have insults at this point in time.

I call Oklahoma "Han Solo" because they're cocky, they're at their best when they're stealing things, most of their success came in the 70's when they had a convincing villain in the franchise with them, and this year's resurgence has caused a lot of people to either love or hate them. (I don't wanna hear anything about this, everyone knows that Jokes > Facts)

I call Baylor "the First Order" because they have a withering ground assault, but losing key command elements has rendered them not as scary as they were.