SB Nation

A Festivus For The Tech In Us

Brendan Maloney-USA TODAY Sports

In the spirit of Kliffmas we take a moment to celebrate Festivus in preparation for all the miracles of bowl season

If you are not familiar with the iconic TV show, Seinfeld, this might be over your head. Needless to say, one of the character's fathers created a new holiday called Festivus, which has its own "unique" traditions.

Let us begin with the "Airing of Grievances" 

Ryan's Grievances

I have a problem with the Oklahoma fans in how they continually think Tech is the big bad bully to their small under recruited football program who just won't release players to play for them. I understand they are always scrapping the bottom of the barrel when it comes to QB play, but let it go already. We have Mahomes and Webb and our running back has more yards than yours does. Oh and you too ESPN.

Hey Big 12 conference, thanks for the schedule! Again...

Oh and while we are at it... FOX and ABC too for never giving us a night game at home. We "LOVE" the 2:30 slot. 

We like you too Texas A&M, thanks for ducking us in the bowl game. We understand. We wouldn't want to play us either. Hope you get all that stuff figured out with your QB's and... the offense in general.

Jonathan's Grievances

The podcasts were fun, but talking to Ryan all by myself every week got really old. He always agreed with everything I said, and when he brought on former players, he would hog the conversation and I had to use a sledgehammer just to get a word in. And speaking of the podcasts, I spent multiple nights (one of them very long and full of beverages) trying to get it put up on iTunes, and then Ryan spends 10 minutes one afternoon, and BAM, it was available. Screw you iTunes.

I said it a couple months back, and I'll say it again. When a top 10 team comes into your stadium on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, fill up the stadium. There's no reason, especially in Lubbock, why there should be sections that are completely EMPTY. And even if your team is losing, you don't leave early without a really good reason. Like your arm fell off. Or you're getting married. Or dying. Those are the only reasons you should leave before The Matador Song. Support your football team to the end, never leave early.

Hunter's Grievances

I have a grievance with every single person who was/is calling for the jobs of Kliff Kingsbury and David Gibbs. I have one question for you super smart armchair coaches: who do you want to hire that would be better? Yourselves? "I'm gonna run the ball and do tackling drills all day" doesn't work when a play-action sluggo route is being thrown over your safety's head. But hey, at least they can tackle! Tackling is important, but if you think that it's the only part of playing good defense then you are either severely misinformed or willfully ignorant.

I have serious beef with Kansas for always choosing the game against us to play not completely terrible in.

I have no idea how you lucked your way into the playoff, Michigan State, but I will laugh when the tide completely and totally rolls you.

No one cares about "class", and they care even less when you have a team that's universally touted as trash talky and dirty, Baylor.

Eric's Grievances

I too will remember 2015 as the year A&M was scared to play Texas Tech. Thanks for trying to ruin bowl season. Oh! Can we please stop ranking Texas A&M in the preseason top 25 every year? Besides, they have no QB and we all know they will always have at least 4 losses.

Why do we only have a 4 team playoff when there are 5 power conferences? Next year can we just have an 8 team playoff? It can include the 5 conference champions and 3 at large teams. Wake up college football!

I have one question Tech fans. Why haven't we sold out the Texas Bowl yet? It is in Houston for crying out loud! Get online and buy your tickets right now.

And onward to the "Feats of Strength"








Festivus Miracle of the Season




What are some of your grievances and feats of strengths that should have been included? 






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