SB Nation

3 AM Thoughts Has Been Playing A Lot Of Video Games

Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

I have clinical Insomnia, which means that I barely sleep. My mind goes to weird places sometimes. These are those weird places

I call Baylor "Fallout 4" because they live in a post apocalyptic wasteland, their biggest weapons are being held together by duct tape and luck, and they don't deal in actual currency when buying things.

Business Idea: It's a show about superhero teenagers in roving Germanic tribes during Roman rule. We can call it "Teen Teutons".

I call Nick Saban "Napoleon" because he's short, fiery, is a dominant strategist, and when he loses, he loses big.

Every time I find myself hating on football announcers, I think of every single time I've had to speak publicly and how difficult it was to fill 20-30 minutes with my own words on a subject. I can only imagine how difficult it is to recall all the research, present it accurately, break down things as they happen, and provide info for the common fan for three freaking hours.

I don't know who the first person to catch a football because of the reflections off chrome helmets will be, but I know he will be a hero.

I call Texas "Call Of Duty" because they're a massive franchise, their main characters keep on falling off the face of the planet, they're constantly looking with hope at the future only to be disappointed, and they've severely dropped in quality in recent years.

I call Texas Tech "Starcraft" because they're fast-paced, the normal onlooker has no idea what's going on, they have some seriously overpowered units, if they stop attacking they're likely to lose, and there's severe disdain for the more hardcore fans.

I call Texas A&M "Just Cause 3" because they have some not-so-subtle political undertones, they make their bank off of action, but most of the fun comes from destroying everything in the game.

With the surging popularity of piped in music, I can foresee a future where school bands aren't a part of college football anymore and it makes me sad.

That is of course operating under the assumption that football remains the same in 50+ years given the research put into CTE.

I call TCU "Assassin's Creed: Unity" because they promised a lot, were full of nearly crippling bugs throughout their release, had to revamp their fighting systems, but ultimately when they got all the kinks out they were really fun to play/watch and had an enjoyable story.

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