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Emotionally Preparing for the Texas Game

The UT game is always a tumultuous one. VTM is here to prepare you with trash talking points, and how to survive the upcoming rollercoaster of a game.

Michael C. Johnson-USA TODAY Sports

Thanksgiving is a wonderful time of year filled with food, family, and football. For most college students it is a time to reunite with old friends and catch up on life. It's also a wonderful time for football trash talk. I believe it's safe for me to assume that most of you are like me, in that most of our friends went to college somewhere in the Big XII. If this is the case, the incoming trash talk is going to be rough (a side note to non college-age folks feel free to replace old friends with family or others as you see fit).

Unless you happen to have a multitude of Iowa State or Kansas State friends, we have bragging rights over nobody. Baylor: lol nah. TCU: they will bring up tipped passes and you will be sad. OSU: that one wasn't super fun. OU: my nightmares are filled with Samaje Perine running through me over and over again while boomer sooner plays on an endless loop. If you run into these fans please bring the soccer conference championship our ladies won and tell them that soccer is the REAL football.

But wait I thought this was supposed to be about Texas? Yes impatient reader, I'm getting there. Two out of the last three years I think it's safe to say that Texas Tech has been better than that orange school down in Austin. Yet somehow in that stretch Texas has beaten us by an aggregate score of 106-51 winning all three games. I may not be great at math but that doesn't add up. This aggregate score will be brought up by all of your longhorn friends over twitter/facebook/telegraph and will surely be brought up by your family members while you feast on favorable fowl and have older family members ask you how to use their new iphones.

This year once again Texas Tech is a better football team than the University of Texas. Tech has the best non-conference win in the entire Big XII. They took TCU within literal inches of losing when they had two fully functioning and healthy Heisman candidates on offense. They beat Kansas. They didn't lose to Iowa State 24-0. TTU didn't lose a game because they forgot how to punt. Texas Tech didn't lose a game because they missed an extra point. Do I need any more evidence to convince you that the Red Raiders are the better team?

Being better than Texas by no means ensures that Tech will win. Often times it means that Tech is more likely to lose. This rivalry is one of the strangest in the conference, if not all of college football. It usually doesn't matter which team is better in this rivalry because anything can happen when these two face off and that is scary and you should definitely watch this game in a bomb shelter or something because Tech could either win or lose by 50 points I don't know what's going to happen. That is a real possibility. Well maybe not 50. Then again.... yeah it could go 50 points in either direction.

Initially I set out to help you emotionally prepare yourself for the Texas game, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that there is no good way to prepare for this game. You can pray to your deity of choice be it a chair, or Zeus, or an acorn in your backyard. If you're not religious but you're superstitious you can avoid the number 13, wear lucky socks, and watch the game with your lucky tumbleweed of choice.

Beating Texas is the last chance Tech fans have for some quality trash talk this football season. There's a slight chance we play the Aggies in a bowl game but Texas is the last for sure chance we've got. Texas is in the middle of a lost season while Tech is looking for something to make this season feel like a quality one. Beating Texas would be the perfect cap to this regular season.

So to bring it all home, this game is going to be bonkers and there is nothing you can do to prepare for it. When trash talking bring up botched punts, botched extra points, and if you mention Michael Crabtree or Blake Gideon most Texas fans will collapse on the floor into the fetal position. I sincerely apologize that probably none of this helped you to emotionally prepare for this game, but if you thought I'd be able to help you with that you have other issues that need to be addressed.

This year's edition of the Tech v. Texas rivalry is going to just as chaotic as ever. My only real advice is to enjoy food and trash talk before either spoil, I'll be doing the same thing. Have a happy turkey day and I'll see you on the internet.