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"Titanic" - The Texas Tech Edition

Titanic wasn't filmed at Texas Tech. Last night it could've been. Here's how it would've gone down.

Inspired by this video

SCENE: The Deck

A young Patrick Mahomes runs up to the railing of the boat as the new quarterback at Texas Tech University. His friend, Jakeem Grant is with him.

Pat taps Jakeem on the shoulder to look into the water.

PAT: "Hey looklooklook! look look!"

BOTH look down as a JAYHAWK flies over the water

JAKEEM: "What the heck is that?"

PAT: "I don't know but it sure sucks at football"


PAT: "Look at that one! Look how many there are!"

JAKEEM: "Looks like they're all transferring"


JAKEEM: "I can see the Big XII Trophy from here! It's very small of course."


JAKEEM: "Pat get down you'll fall and die"


ENTER: Kliff Kingsbury

KLIFF: "Hello, Pat. I changed my mind."

PAT: "shhhh. Give me your hand."

PAT: "Now close your eyes. Go on."

PAT: "Step up, and hold on to the railing. Keep your eyes closed, don't peek"

KLIFF: "I'm not"

PAT: "I'm gonna lead us to glory. Do you trust me?"

KLIFF stretches out arms and lets PAT take control

KLIFF: "I'm Air Raiding!"

PAT begins beatboxing "Mobbin'" by Grandtheft into Kliff's ear

KLIFF: "Hey can I come down this is getting weird"

SCENE: Lifeboats

The OFFENSIVE LINE has been destroyed. Kliff and Pat share one last moment before Pat is thrown to the iceberg of LSU.

KLIFF jumps back onto the TITANIC


PAT: "You're so stupid, Kliff! Why'd you do that?"

KLIFF: "You jump, I jump, right?"

KLIFF: "I couldn't go Pat! I love Texas Tech"

PAT: "what were we talking about"

KEVIN SUMLIN looks on, furious he was unable to get KLIFF back.

SCENE: Broken Door In The Middle Of The Freezing Ocean

KLIFF: "Pat! There's an OL croot, Pat! You're gonna be okay!"

PAT is unresponsive

OL CROOT commits to UT

KLIFF: (weakly) "Come back! Come back!"

PAT slips down into the abyss

KLIFF: "I'll never let go Pat. I'll never let go"