clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

What Happened To Davis Webb This Past Season?

New, comments

Is Davis Webb secretly auditioning for Friday Night Lights? Or was he brainwashed by Tommy Tuberville in order to eliminate our program from the inside?

The struggles of Davis Webb this past season were well known to many Red Raider fans. He was chastised by everyone for everything from his reads to his running ability. Everyone was very quick to throw him under the bus for every little mistake he made this past year. Seeing as how there's no possible way to possibly know for sure what happened to his game this season, here's a list of the most likely things that happened to our QB1 this past year.

THEORY 1: Davis Webb is secretly a member of the Illuminati sent to spread their influence to Kliff

Now you might all be thinking, "Hunter, this is ridiculous, there's no possible way Davis Webb is a member of the Illuminati". Well let's look at the facts.

Davis Webb was 6th in passer rankings last year. We started 2 quarterbacks last year. 6/2=3. Like the number of sides on a triangle.

Davis Webb is from Prosper, Texas. Prosper has 7 letters in it's name. Davis Webb wears number 7. 7/7=1. This next year will be Davis Webb's third year to letter. 1x3=3.

Let's take a look at the actual number 7 as well

DO YOU SEE NOW?! THE NUMBER 7 IS THE CLOSEST NUMBER TO THE ILLUMINATI TRIANGLE!!!1!!11!

Davis Webb passed 71 times against OK State in 2013, completing 45 of them. 71 isn't divisible by 3, but 45 definitely is.

If all of this wasn't enough evidence to convince you that Davis Webb is simply an Illuminati sock puppet, let me share the best piece of evidence we have: his throwing motion.

Wake up, America.

THEORY 2: Davis Webb is being haunted by the ghost of Jace Amaro

Jace Amaro and Webb were very good friends in 2013 while establishing a rapport on the field. With Amaro now in football purgatory (AKA the New York Jets), It is arguable that he is not even alive. I believe his ghost has been visiting Davis Webb periodically.

This seems very incredibly far fetched, but take into account one of Webb's struggles: overthrowing his receivers. It seems as if he was throwing the ball to someone... taller. Maybe even someone bigger. Maybe he was being haunted by the ghost of Jace Amaro. Jace Amaro messed with Webb's mind, making it seem like the 6'5 Tight End/Wide Receiver/Horse was the one running the routes instead of Bradley Marquez. Our professional* photographers have captured this via photograph.

This is verifiable proof that Davis Webb is suffering from the ghost of Jace Amaro getting into his head too much. Jace knows he should have stayed another year, and in his sorrow has turned on those who love him.

THEORY 3: Davis Webb is a false-flag operation placed here by Tommy Tuberville in order to enact his revenge on Texas Tech

It's not exactly a secret that most Texas Tech fans were not huge supporters of the Tubs. In turn, Tubs was not a man who gave back much to the community. In fact, he resented us so much that he sent Davis Webb as a false flag quarterback in order to destroy our whole program. Tuberville invaded the home of Davis Webb after he was recruiting, saying that he needed him for a "secret mission". That mission, of course, was to make him into a program destroying machine through a series of brainwashing techniques.

Tuberville despises everything Texas Tech, so it makes sense that he would send his minion here to throw games. I mean, look how many quarterbacks Webb has run off, and look at his eerily close relationship with Kliff Kingsbury. This is no coincidence. Davis Webb has been programmed to destroy Texas Tech from within by Tommy Tuberville as a last jab at the Tech Administration.

THEORY 4: Davis Webb is the frontman for a speed metal band, and doesn't have enough time to practice because he is too busy melting faces

Let's be real here people, this theory is the only plausible one. Webb has never explicitly come out and said "I have never been in a speed metal band". Therefore, he is most definitely in one. Webb has had accuracy issues at some times. These accuracy issues obviously stem from him having too many callouses on his hands from playing lead guitar in a speed metal band.

And let's be real, if you have hair like that, you're in a metal band. We can only hope that Webb only plays the guitar, because if he does vocals too his voice will become too raspy to call audibles.

THEORY 5: Davis Webb is secretly using his time at Texas Tech to audition for the role of the new starting quarterback when the Friday Night Lights TV show is rebooted

Friday Night Lights is famous for it's embattled stars who have miraculous comebacks. This season was very obviously the "conflict" portion of the script that Webb wants to portray, and next season will be the season where he proves to the whole town that he had what it takes to be the starting quarterback all along. I'm willing to bet that this conspiracy runs as deep as Webb purposefully injuring himself so as to set another potential dramatic plot twist up down the road. Will he get the illegal steroid shot before the game that literally recreates his arm into a human version of a Howitzer, or will he gut it out and play it straight with no drugs? Tune into next week's episode of Friday Night Lights to find out!

I mean heck the dude even wears the same number as Matt Saracen it's so obvious how did you not see it.