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The Anti-Preview: Texas Tech vs Lamar

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Food poisoning from some nasty fish so now we’re back to basics... bird.

Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday! You know what that means. No, not hump day - stop that. It’s time for another Anti-Preview! Win or lose we still booze (on some quality non-quality content). So strap up your mid-week boots and take a joy ride with me to a ... something. Here we go.

NCAA Football: Mississippi at Texas Tech Thomas B. Shea-USA TODAY Sports

Last week was a disaster at best. Offense was misfiring or whatever, and defense would have made Kansas look like Big 12 contenders. That’s over though and we’re left with something greater: another opportunity! What better way to bounce back and get into form - because we can still go 11-1 during the regular season - than by taking out a team that absolutely decimated their last opponent. Let’s take on some juggernauts in a very small package known as.....

Lamar punk-rock birds

NCAA Football: Lamar at Houston Erik Williams-USA TODAY Sports

Seriously, the red cardinal is this little bird with a phat mohawk hairstyle that has been out of style since the 90s. Either way, this team is rolling high off of their first week victory against KY Christian 70-7. That is some straight up six-man football scores, but Lamar sits 1-0 and Tech is 0-1 so there isn’t room to joke. Momentum surely will feel on Lamar’s side, but the Jones will be rocking with hopeful fans during the first home game of the season. Time for some real information!

What should you be drinking?

This is the Dirty Redbird Martini or more commonly known as the cardinal cocktail. It’s got bite, it’s got acidity and it’s got... Worcestershire sauce? Look - go no further if you aren’t a brave one. But if you’ve made it this far with a craving in your gut for something absolutely ridiculous then, well, here. I present to you the cardinal cocktail:

Ingredients

  • 1/2 cup Pearl Vodka
  • 1 cup tomato juice chilled
  • 1/4 cup olive juice
  • 2 1/2 tablespoons lemon juice
  • 2 teaspoons onion salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
  • 2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
  • 1/2 teaspoon hot sauce
  • 1/4 teaspoon celery salt
  • olives (to garnish that nasty boy)
  1. Combine all ingredients in a shaker and shake to fully combine.
  2. Pour into martini glasses and garnish with olives.
  3. DEMOLISH THAT CARDINAL

By the time you finish it’ll probably feel like you just left a really cheap steakhouse.

What should you be eating?

The closest thing to actually eating a small avian bird is a step up from eating a small avian bird. It’s time for some chicken wings! “Wubba lubba dub dub!” One of football’s greatest challenges as a spectator is choosing the perfect food to go along with it. This week to honor our opponents we’re gonna maliciously eat little wings to symbolize our warmest of welcomes. If you’ll be in the Hub City this weekend for the game then a good place to pop by for some quality wings would be Hub City Wings. Located on 34th street, this is Lubbock’s single origin of wings that has been creating quality stuff since it started. Good prices, good wings - stop thinking into it!

Best thing about this game?

After last weekend’s dismal performance, this weekend should look more on brand for Texas Tech. There’s still a substantial question at QB with Alan Bowman the apparent starter but Jett Duffey waiting in the wings and McLane Carter in an injury limbo. Being a somewhat cupcake team you can expect Kliff to dedicate equal reps to Bowman and Duffey in order to grasp a more detailed idea of who functions best in the game-time offense. Defense will also be looking to remedy past mistakes by locking down and removing the mental mistakes that plagued the Ole Miss game. All-in-all this is a tune up game before we face a quality team next week so relax!

Five things to dislike about Lamar?

(One reason to kinda feel bad about Lamar)

1. Good lord, a simple search regarding Beaumont, Texas (Lamar’s home base) led me to a can of worms on Reddit. Check out what u/Whiteberry had to say about the illustrious town of Beaumont

2. I

3. Kind of

4. Feel bad.

5. Wreck em, Big Red.

At the end of the day

We’re on week two of college football! Tech has a gauntlet of games coming up on its schedule so this may be the one that Tech fans can actually relax in. Regardless of the margin, Kingsbury is going to get a lot of good looks at the depth chart this weekend and hopefully (hope•ful•ly) will better prepare us for the challenges ahead. Oh yeah, it’s also at 3pm! A SOMEWHAT NIGHT GAME!

We’re getting there.