clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

If Big XII Teams Were Star Wars Characters

The new Star Wars Trailer has got me thinking.. what would each of the Big XII teams be if they were Star War characters

Baylor - Grand Moff Tarkin

Baylor and the commander of the Imperial military have one glaring thing in common: they can't close when the situation is dire. Baylor is good at beating up on no name teams/Alderaan, but when it comes to playing teams with an actual military or team, they fold like a wet paper airplane.

Kansas - The Jawas

Kansas and the Jawas are really, really good at one thing: basketball/trading droids. However, when it comes to doing other things, they fall short. They may have had some bright spots in areas other than their expertise, but ultimately they stick to what they know best.

Iowa State - Nute Gunray

Iowa State's official mascot is the Cyclones. But they use this strange cardinal-looking mascot in some of their logos. This strikes me as a little shady, and reminds me of Nemoidian tax fraud man Nute Gunray. Also, Iowa is boring. Episode I was boring.

West Virginia - Cornelius Evazan

Nothing screams "West Virginia" quite like talking about how many systems you're wanted in to a random stranger.

Oklahoma - Anakin Skywalker

A real powerhouse on and off the field, and prone to temper tantrums when they don't get their way. Both have an aggressive offense. Also, Anakin would totally wear a visor.

Oklahoma State - Boba Fett

Oklahoma State and Boba Fett have great potential and typically look like they could be dangerous, but ultimately don't accomplish much. Sure the outlaw captured Han Solo once, or had Barry Sanders, but one really good catch and looking good don't make up for a "meh" performance.

Texas - Emperor Palpatine

Both once were feared and respected throughout the galaxy, and both are becoming a little frail in old age. Promises a lot, never delivers. Evil incarnate that is ultimately defeated by the forces of good.

TCU - Mace Windu

Relatively new to the show. Co-leads the Jedi Council with some green dude. Also, purple.

Kansas State - The Droid Army

Looks imposing currently, but has a losing record all-time. Led by a really old dude. Rigid system of values, players/droids follow orders and do not make mistakes.

Texas Tech - Jar Jar Binks

Okay, we ragged on everyone else, it's time to rag on ourselves.

You're not exactly sure how they win sometimes, they just do. Sometimes when they talk it's unintelligible. Generally frustrating because they always seem to be nipping at your heels even when you should just roll over them.