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Getting ahead of revisionist history; Spring 2020 trophy winners.

A guide to claiming superiority over everyone in a spring where no one was crowned.

Michael C. Johnson-USA TODAY Sports

This is my first article in quite awhile, so first let me say it is good to be back. Unfortunately, I picked a time where the sporting world has ground to a halt. Fans everywhere are left with a lack of closure for the winter sports that had not finished and the spring sports that had just gotten started.

Bragging rights and hate fuels the sports world, and that can’t stop because of the virus. Coveted hypothetical national championships are up for grabs, and I have decided to weigh in and help everyone sort out the valid claims from the chumps.

Before I dive too into the advanced metrics for how to claim that a team is theoretically the best, Florida State is disqualified from the competition. The entire state of Florida embarrassed itself again trying to legislate a national title and proclaiming the team with the 8th best odds the basketball champion.

With that settled, I have come up with three simple marks to determine if a team can claim a national championship. I have focused on basketball and baseball to keep this simple, but I can expand if the readers demand more metrics to settle other sporting arguments.

Metric #1: Is your basketball Coach Chris Beard?

If your coach is not Chris Beard, I am truly sorry for your loss but your squad is eliminated from the debate. Chris Beard is the best March Madness coach in the nation, and any team not led by him is fooling themselves if they think they could have beaten his squad.

If your team is lucky enough to have Chris Beard congratulations! Whoever that school is can claim definitively to be the One True 2019-2020 CBB National Champion.

Metric #2: Is your baseball coach Tim Tadlock?

If your coach is not Tim Tadlock, I am once again truly sorry for your loss but go ahead and hang your head in defeat. Tadlock’s record is immaculate, and I hear rumors this squad was the most talented he had ever led. There is no doubt he would have claimed the crown this summer and danced on the skulls of the vanquished SEC punks that dare challenge his reign.

Metric #3: There are no other metrics.

You caught me, I lied. There was never a third metric for this debate. As I started my scientific study of this debate, the formula I developed was so complete it was finished in just two metrics.

Sometimes I impress even myself with how sharp I am. Now, I can apply both of my two metrics and see who can claim the basketball and baseball national titles we all care about and love.

Verdict: Texas Tech

Wow, in a shocking revelation my own alma matter can claim both of the national titles! So Tech fans, share this article far and wide and rejoice knowing that the Red Raiders have the only true claim to the throne.