Welcome to week three! Texas Tech comes off an extreme high after walloping the Lamar Cardinals last week in Lubbock - a game that offered a variety of highlights from our seven rushing TD to our three-quarterback play. Oh, what else? A SHUTOUT? Dang... what a weekend.

Photo by John Weast/Getty Images

We’re just getting started, though. This weekend offers a more credible attempt at salvaging the season because -obviously- our opponent this weekend is a little more beefy than Lamar. So coming off our absolute tortilla-filled, guns blazin’, land raiding, 806D waking up fun-fest we’re going to be trying to keep the good times rolling this weekend agaaaainsttt.....

HOUSTON SHOCKER-CATS

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Whose HOUSE?! ... Well, our house - but these cats are a-comin’ to it! The shocker-cats (aptly re-named for the similar inappropriate hand gesture) just finished wiping the floor with Arizona and are looking to improve to 3-0 this weekend against Tech. They’ll be led by QB D’Eriq King who went 246 yards and 4 touchdowns last weekend as well as a defense that is eager for turnovers. But seriously who cares about all that? We’re looking at another fantastic time to kick back, crack a cold one and watch college football in its most pure form: the Red and Black.

WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DRINKING?

Spiked sweet tea for that hot afternoon! It’s no secret that sweet tea is one of the most iconic beverages of the south, but now we can make it tailgate ready. An easy and sure-fire recipe for this classic incorporates vodka and orange slices to add depth.

Ingredients:

2 oz. vodka

12 oz. sweet tea

1 handful ice

1 sliced orange

Mix the vodka and the sweet tea first, then pour this over ice and add the orange! Drink incessantly.

WHAT SHOULD YOU BE EATING?

A somewhat missed opportunity last weekend, cajun is what should be on the menu this weekend. Houston is a petri dish full of a variety of cultures but one notable standout for its food and its fun are the Cajuns. Razzoos is steeped in this culinary craziness (note the menu) and serves up its own piece of respectable creole. To give you a single item seems heinous because there’s so many things to like about this type of cuisine. The hush-puppies, the gumbo, the jambalaya and étoufées are just a small tour of a greater theme park that awaits you in Razzoos. Go in, spend an amount of money that your financial advisor would define as “risky and irresponsible,” and just let loose!

BEST THING ABOUT THE GAME

Houston is coming off of a statement win against a supposed Pac-12 South front-runner (they aren’t) and will be looking forward to a chance to take down another P5 program. The problem? They have to come to Lubbock. It’s on our turf and by our rules; Tech is also entering this game after a confidence building win. It’s a steady jump before we hit the pavement in conference play and no doubt the team is fully aware now of the implications of another loss. Everybody is playing for something this game and it could shake up for a little bit of Jones magic.

FIVE REASONS TO HATE HOUSTON (THE SCHOOL)

1. Kendall Briles

2. Remember when Tom Herman used be the head coach? He couldn’t fill a stadium, complained about it, then left for Texas... where he can’t really fill a stadium, complains about it and - oh. I’m a fortune teller.

3. Their current head coach, Major Applewhite, is a former QB for the University of Texas - so obviously he has the most malicious intents for Texas Tech. Obviously.

4. For this week specifically - the spread on the game opened at 1 point in favor of Houston. ONE POINT?? I’m pissed.

5. Okay let’s address it. The hand sign for the University of Houston IS the shocker. They keep spinning the legend that the original cougar mascot got sick or hurt or something and had to have one of its toes amputated but come on, we know the truth. You guys are just really into weird stuff, it’s cool - Austin brands being weird as the cool thing to do and you wanna keep up. We don’t judge (yes we do).

LATE ADDITION

It just became public knowledge that Houston would not agree to Tech wearing white... for their celebrate cotton game.

Low blow, Houston, low blow. Even worse - the Tech football twitter account has already called for a white out but had to pull the tweet in lieu of this. If we show up all in white it’s going to look like we’re supporting Houston now. What the hell!

AT THE END OF THE DAY

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This is the last game before conference play gets started, the last “kinda matters but not really because we’re not going to the playoffs so record is trash” game before “oh shoot if we win x, y, z we could maybe make a run for top 4 in the Big 12?!?!?!?” So let’s all just take a bit of whatever Matthew McConaughey is taking and enjoy it for what it is: another weekend with Texas Tech football. Alright, alright alriiiiight. Oh also - long live Bearded Kingsbury!