My application to be CFO for Kliff Kingsbury

We’re 4+ years into the Kingsbury tenure as Texas Tech’s coach, and one resounding theme is his lack of availability to the public for interviews/comments etc.

Sure, he’s required to give coach speak several times a year, but he never says anything of substance during said talks. When your team wins four or five games in a season, the last thing you want is to be cut off to what’s happening behind closed doors. We get that he wants to be Bill Belichick, but this is the NCAA not the NFL.

Given all that, it’s clear to me that Kliff needs a Chief Fan Officer (read CFO) to be a liaison to the fan base and feed the masses on the tidbits/notes that Kingsbury has showed a disinterest in. Also, let’s be honest, he needs unsolicited/solicited feedback on play calling, uniforms, recruiting, etc. My cover letter is below:

Dear Kliff Kingsbury,

For starters: I’m fired up for this upcoming 2017 season. Do you think Shimonek’s sleeve tattoos gives him some extra arm strength? Cause I do. Sorry…I got off subject. Anyway, I’ve crowdsourced some feedback from the fan base, and one theme is that they’d love to give you a piece of their mind on really anything that bubbles up.

As a writer for Viva The Matadors, the best Tech fan blog on the internet, I have my ear to the ground on any/all matters involving our Red Raiders. This access to the fanbase allows for me to give a rolled up message directly to you when we have particular concerns. Also, to be clear, we don’t always have concerns - like those 1990s throwback uniforms. - SMASH hit with the people. But, we’d also like you to dial up a few more blitz packages on 1st down. See how this can go both ways?

There’s a general consensus around that we’d also like you to target, and sign, more 5-star recruits. Based on what we’ve all discerned, this is exactly the recipe that lead to Alabama winning National Champions. Kliff - we want trophies - specifically the “National Champion” types. But, we’re also West Texans, meaning that we want you to sign at least 5-6 small gritty players that will play through broken bones, and have strong moral fiber. You see, Kliff, which is what I’ll be calling you from now on, we like to relate with these types of players.

I hate to give all this advice for free, which is why this will be my last suggestion that’s on the house: Can you please slow down the offense just a little bit? I think we’re all in agreement that a 30-yard gain, follow by some stupid two yard loss doing the hurry up is infuriating. I’ve noticed that Nick Saban is extremely deliberate in his play calling and he never rushes to anything - Kliff, Nick has trophies for a reason.

We can obviously discuss all of this over some margaritas at Chimy’s, or swing by Rosa’s on Taco Tuesday for a more formal interview/discussion. It’ll be good to have you out in the community socializing with everyone. Maybe I’ll facilitate an “ask me anything” session while there? Again, this is just a taste of where my mind is on the role.

Alright, the question on your mind is likely pay now - I’ll take really anything in the ballpark of one million/year. Just float that over to Kirby Hocutt and let’s commit this deal. It feels good to commit deals Kliff - give it a try.

Please advise if you have additional questions or feedback. Again, I think this has the potential to be mutually beneficial for yourself and the fanbase. I look forward to hearing back soon.