With the passing of nation-wide thankfulness, we can come back to the reality that is our football program. Sitting at 5-6, the temperature around this program is paralleled by that crisp breeze of winter. After a desperate and ultimately unfulfilling loss against Kansas State, higher ups like Athletic Director Kirby Hocutt have expressed their frustrations with certain aspects of the program.

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So here we are again, Coach Kingsbury in the last week of the regular season trying to save his job. It’s an all too familiar story for the Red Raider faithful! If you have made it this far, good on you. It isn’t always easy being a Texas Tech fan, and the sanity of the fan base will certainly be challenged this weekend against another team in desperation modeeeee....

BAYLOR BRAWLERS

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Baylor has a similar situation coming into the last game of the year: win or go home. With Charlie Brewer at the helm their ability to score is as strong as it has ever been. Problems for Baylor have not ceased to pile on, however, with an inability to close out games (sound familiar?). Really there isn’t much else. It’s Baylor. We’re Tech. BU. TT. BUTT BOWL TIME.

WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DRINKING

This looks festive! You may recognize the distinctive indistinctness in the color and consistency of this drink. Most parties have a consensus-name of “jungle juice” but the more adult (I guess) name is “trash punch.” Inside of it? Your guess is as good as mine. Everyclear, vermouth, moonshine, fruits, veggies, gummy worms, gummy bears, vodka, some juice, the bottle that the juice came in, probably some blood of the neighborhood raccoon, seriously your guess is as good as mine. You know what, though? It does the job and everybody congregates around it the same way Savanna wildlife congregates around the watering holes. It’s primal. It’s trashy. It’s this season’s drink. Like Kevin Malone once said about his world famous chili, “everybody will get to know each other in the pot” - Kevin.

WHAT SHOULD YOU BE EATING

Close your eyes and imagine. It’s Thanksgiving and you’ve gorged yourself full of a myriad of dishes. You’ve sworn off food for the rest of your life but one subconscious thought perseveres as you put away all the left overs... Thanksgiving leftovers. Becuase if there is anything as American as overindulging on turkey, potatoes, etc, it is being able to do it all over again the next day. Then the day after that. Then, because you really prepared a hell of turkey, you’ve got food on that third day. It’s inevitable. So do yourself the courtesy of busting out all the tupperware, setting the microwave to full blast, and creating a sandwich/plate unrivaled by any left over plate from your entire year. This is America, people. Now go make yourself a sandwich.

BEST THING ABOUT THE GAME

With Jett Duffey being injured and Carter’s current... not so exciting form... there’s a real chance we see Colt Garrett behind center. Why is this the “best thing?” Colt Garrett currently has a 799.6 QBR rating (per ESPN). The man is a literal cheat code, people! If Kingsbury decides to go with the future Heisman winner, then this game could get incredibly interesting.

FIVE REASONS TO DISLIKE BAYLOR

1. They’re some scrappy boys!

2. Baylor is located in one of the poorest cities in the United States. Why is that problematic? Well if you consider the level of prestige that Baylor students/alumni assign themselves, it seems a bit ironic that they would place themselves in such an impoverished area - and not build up the city around them.

3. Have you ever looked at their football stadium? It goes on record as the world’s most expensive toilet bowl costing 247 million dollars more than the International Space Station toilet which clocked in at a blundering $19 million dollars. I guess Baylor sure showed space.

(thanks to Wreck Em Red for the graphic)

4. *deep sigh* The Baylor line. This tradition has freshman, after completing some kind of wanna-be band camp, run out onto the football field in a wave of yellow shirts. Maybe I just don’t get it, maybe Texas Tech isn’t cool enough to have all its freshman run onto the football field because .... well I don’t even know why. There’s just something unsettling about all those freshman. *waves cane from front porch* “get off my lawn!”

5. Because realities like this existed... and still exist. If there’s a team that’s worse at showing up to games than Tech and TCU it is Baylor. Even when they had RG3 !

AT THE END OF THE DAY

At the end of the day? Well... at the end of the day Saturday I think we’re going to have a really clear picture about who will be leading this team onto the field as head coach next year.