I watched Love is Blind and survived

Yesterday was my birthday.

I had originally planned to go to work, brag about Texas Tech’s series victory over a really good Minnesota Gopher squad, celebrate with my family at my favorite Tex-Mex restaurant and end it with a nice pour of bourbon of my choosing while I watched Texas Tech’s men’s basketball tournament game.

I didn’t do those things...well, maybe the bourbon thing, but most of those things are off the table. Instead, I played daddy daycare balancing making lunches and watching endless amounts of Paw Patrol and wondering why Chase continues to get more praise than any of the other pups.

With that finally accepted, I now find myself writing words about a Netflix reality dating show that I, regardless of public opinion, found myself screaming at my television and racing to hit “Next episode”.

Premise:

In Love is Blind, 15 single men and 15 single women are confined into an unknown facility with access to unlimited alcohol in Atlanta, and starts with the hypothetical “Is love truly blind?”.

In order to answer this, the 30 singles are separated by gender (Male and Female), where they will live for 10 days. During those 10 days they will spend each day going on a series of dates in adjacent outwardly sound proof rooms separated by blue illuminated opaque wall, dubbed “pods”. Although the rooms are sound proof to the rooms beside them, the contestants are able to communicate pretty clearly through the glass to the person on the other side.

Over the 10 days, the men and women exchange conversationally, develop connections and build true intimacy, all while consuming copious amounts of alcohol, because...well, duh.

The catch? Only after a proposal and acceptance of the proposal is the couple allowed to meet face-to-face.

Social distancing, indeed.

Episodes 1-5:

While there are 30 individuals, the viewer is truly only introduced to 12 or so contestants. A bit of foreshadowing, if you will.

Within the first few episodes during the dating phase, viewers are introduced to Cameron, a 28 year old scientist (generic) and Lauren, a 32 year old “Content creator” (Generic, also, what?). Immediately, we can see the connection developed between these two in such a short amount of time. Things quickly develop through series of dates, culminating into Cameron ready to propose, which is happily accepted by Lauren.

And, let me tell you, they are perfect for each other. At the meet up, is clear as day they genuinely did fall for each other and seeing the real time download of each other’s looks as the embrace can only result in the viewer thinking:

“Holy moly, this is actually going to work, isn’t it?”

We are then introduced to couples Barnett and Amber, Kenny and Kelly, Diamond and Charlton and Mark and Jessica. Who also take the plunge into engagement only a few days removed from being complete strangers on a reality show.

While, I feel as though most of the contestants seem quite normal and somewhat boring, I’m going to focus this section on the experiences of a specific person: Jessica.

In episode one are all introduced into the world of Jessica, or as my wife has lovingly referred to as “Mess-ica”, because...well, that girl is a mess.

With the voice that equals the sound of nails on a chalkboard, and flips from a midwestern accent to a southern drawl within 10 minutes, Mess-ica blesses our tv screen, seemingly fully-equipped with a generously poured glass of red wine at all times.

During the first few episodes, Jessica, a 34 year old originally from Chicago, is torn between two people while dating in the pods, Barnett and Mark. From the onset, Jessica is extremely tepid about the show, due to her age compared to her male counterparts she is meeting. She is in this thing to find a husband.

When she feels as though she is getting close to Barnett proposing, she drops the emotional hammer on Mark. Stating her feelings have changed and she is moving onward with this new connection.

Blinded by this information, Mark is obviously upset. After saying some parting words, he leaves the pod seemingly willing to never come back.

HOWEVAHHHH, what Mess-ica fails to realize is that Barnett is ready to do the exact same thing to her, in order to pursue his love interest with another contestant, and eventual fiancè, Amber.

Oh, boy. Mess-ica cant flip-flop fast enough. As soon as Barnett delivers the terrible news to her, she is seen running right back to Mark. Who takes he back, with very little thought of what transpired what couldn’t have been more than a few hours ago.

I know what you’re thinking: “but Tyler, maybe they just got off to a rocky start, but end up falling madly in-love with each other because of their very strong connection.” And you’d be wrong.

As Mark proposes, and he and Jessica see each other for the first time, it is INCREDIBLY apparent that the physical attraction is one-sided.

All of a sudden, Jessica, who knew all along Mark is a 5-foot-4 inch 24 year old fitness instructor, is second guessing her decision to marry him.

Why? Because of his age, obviously. Which she knew about previously and is only a problem between the two AFTER she sees him.

Episodes 6-10:

With the couples who agree to marry someone they met 10 days ago, and only just saw for 20 minutes established, the next phase of this weird and mostly drunken journey is set to begin. All the couples will be sent to Cancun, Mexico for a week getaway to “get to know each other physically”.

I’m not going to get it a lot of it, because this is a family blog, but you guys can use your imagination.

This also is the first time every couple meets, and people who maybe dated just 5 days ago, get a chance to see each other. Which means, Messica gets to see what Barnett looks like while also around Mark and Barnett’s soon-to-be-wife, Amber. Surely, this wont dig up ANY drama, right?

However, this section of the show is also where the couples find out that they will be moving to the same apartment complex in Atlanta to live for three weeks before the weddings. This gives the couples a chance to live with each other and decide whether they made the right decision.

This is also the portion of the show where they will be introduced to each other’s families. With the multitude of drama, I only really have the ability to discuss...you guessed it, Mess-ica.

On, what seems to be a continued trend of drunken nights for Mess-ica, where she lets her dog DRINK RED WINE FROM HER GLASS ON CAMERA, she also lets Mark know that she is more attracted to Barnett than him. While he blows up and sleeps on the couch that night, he eventually comes back to her and forgives her drunken mistake.

Dude just cant quit her. And I cant quit them.

Recommendation:

I’m not going to go complete spoiler, on all the couples and their results (I want you to endure the same trash tv wasted time as I did), but what I will say is, during this uncertain times in our country, it’s good to know that when we see the other side of this pandemic, trash tv will still be there and shows like Love is Blind will connect us on one thing:

Jessica. Is. The. Worst.

I’m giving Love is Blind one thumb up and the other hanging to the halfway. I would have loved to have more highlights of all the contestants involved and what happened to them after the show.