We’re still in it! After two impressive victories against Northern Kentucky and then Buffalo, Texas Tech remains firmly in the NCAA Tournament. Strutting into the Sweet Sixteen more or less. After Odiase claimed 15 rebounds and five of our players netted double-digit performances, we conquered Tulsa and set our eyes on a new land. Out in the far west where the land stops and the great waters begin, there’s a city known for it’s cartoon empire and nearby orchards. Anaheim, California would become our new camp and battlegrounds against another team versed in the art of defense. From the cherry-ridden mitten Texas Tech will face off against theeeEeEeEEe...
“Flint still doesn’t have clean water”s
Listen here, according to The Detroit News there should be a finished water pipeline connected to Flint BY THE END OF THIS YEAR. This is huge news for people that have been afflicted by bad civil engineering and outdated water transportation systems. What? OH, you don’t care about that. I should have known: nobody does. That is unless you’re Stan.
can we please get flint some fucking water? nobody gives a fuck ab no damn green hillbilly ass holiday https://t.co/1RA6JZO1T8— stan (@imdirtystan) March 17, 2019
Well said, Stan, well said. I guess if we’re gonna look at our opponent (which who cares, because there’s a real preview for that) then let’s hit the highlights. The “Flint still doesn’t have clean water”s are one of the best defensive teams in the nation, strongly challenging Texas Tech. This Thursday evening sets up a tough brawl against two beefy-boys without much punch - offensively speaking. For “Flint still doesn’t have clean water”s, they’ve got some guy with a crazy last name who averaged 15 or so a game in the regular season. They’ve also got an OK coach and pretty good-looking defense. What else do you want? This is an Anti-Preview. ON TO THE STUFF THAT MATTERS, Anaheim edition!
WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DRINKING?
Fond memories of Anaheim should absolutely be supplemented with a trip to its most reputable speakeasy. I give you: The Blind Rabbit. Now you can’t just go in. Obviously. You’ll have to go to their website and reserve a table for a set time. It is absolutely crucial that you obey the dress code, know where the door is, and arrive ON TIME. Any deviation from these basic rules will have you out faster than you could say something that takes a while to say (I don’t know how fast you walk, or how fast they push). Let’s assume you’re a couth human and observe all the standards of The Blind Rabbit. You’ll be welcomed to a dark, intimate space that is filled with well-dressed people and larger-than-life drink presentations. If you get the chance to go and find yourself thinking “I know what I like to drink,” stop. Stop. STOP. Ask for a “dealer’s choice” and let the bartender do his frickin’ job - you won’t be upset.
To find the door it will be a bore.
Without shine or glisten you must lean in to listen.
The Blind Rabbit hides behind wooden burrow.
.... the barrels. It’s behind the barrels at the Packing House.
WHAT SHOULD YOU BE EATING?
California is a thriving center of Asian-American fusion, culminated from a long history of long distance immigration. One such cuisine is known for its brilliantly balanced profile of light and flavorful dishes: Vietnamese. This food has a special place in my heart as it’s incredibly versatile and delicious no matter if you’re eating an early lunch or stumbling back to your home at 2am. In Anaheim, the sandwich known as the Banh Mi is king of rapid-Asian dining. Bánh Mì Chè Cali off of Brookhurst and McFadden has some of the best made sandwiches in all of California. They’re open twenty-four hours (pretty important) and don’t pretend that sandwiches cost a lot of money. If you’re looking for a memorable bite to eat before or after the game, or before your 5am flight back to Lubbock, then make the short stop at Bánh Mì Chè Cali and order the No. 11: Bò Nuóng. Did I mention if you buy two you get one free?
BEST THING ABOUT THIS GAME?
This game pits two of the best defenses in the nation against each other on a big stage. Although it won’t be as sexy as some other matchups, every basket made in this game will matter. Coach Beard and company will be well locked in to play this game to the best of their abilities, but so will Coach Beilein’s. Let’s take to twitter to see what totally non-partisan fans are saying about the match up:
Texas Tech is gonna slap the shit out of Michigan— The NBA Guru (@TheNBAGuru_) March 24, 2019
FIVE REASONS TO DISLIKE MICHIGAN
1. Walmart fans. Toxic non-alumni that sit in the glory of a school’s athletic achievements without any real orientation or connection. They also love to overdo it on the gear...
2. Their color scheme. If you’ve read Anti-Previews before you might have noticed an underlying disgust from this site regarding one, un-digestable, waste of (is it even) a vegetable: corn. BUT MICHIGAN COULDN’T JUST SAY CORN AND BLUE, NO. They had to go and be pretentious about their trash vegetable. They used “maize.” Maize and blue. Cool scheme, bro.
3. This call is all too familiar with a lot of fans, the dreaded call in radio shows that bear the brunt of aggressive fans. Part of me actually likes listening to this because the guy was really adamant about getting a burrito before getting outta town.
4. In the early 2000s (before Beilein) Michigan was kind of trash at basketball. Some other sites went so far as saying Michigan was a stain on the Big 10, but that’s pretty much all over now. Now? We have to deal with another team that is good at defense and wants to take the glory away from our very own Red Raiders. Go away, Michigan!
5. Oh also, Coach Beilein. The first time he ever made it to the Elite Eight as a head coach was in 2005. The team he beat? Texas Tech. And he did it with a player named Kevin Pittsnogle.
Take that however you like, Texas Tech faces off against Michigan TONIGHT at howling hour. LETS RIDE.