THIS... IS... MAAAAAAARCH! For a very special time of the year, it is only right that we bring back a very special and very overrated series: The Anti-Preview!
So be excited, dammit.
Texas Tech put together enough of a resume to be seeded third in this year’s NCAA Tournament (same as last year). From being picked in the Big 12 preseason poll at number seven to winning the conference and making the tourney - all I can say is IN THE FACE!
We’ll be doing an Anti-Preview for every opponent that Tech is pitted against for the duration of their tournament run. It could be as many as six (or it could be just one)! Either way, we’re here to slam some jam and let whoever we face know that we toooootalllyyyy respect them. Up on the guillotine is a team that nobody knew existed before this week, one that is in no way as prestigious as half of their name suggests and of course - the little suburb of Cincinnati. The one, the only....
Located a mere nine miles from the much more recognizable University of Cincinnati, Cincinnati-Light is a well coached program that has been tearing it up in the *checks notes* Horizon League. You probably recognize the league from their famous contenders such as the Wright State goodboys, the Oakland park bears and of course the UIC Flames. Cinci-Light posted a conference record of 13-5 and an overall record of 26-8. It’s a damn nightmare for any team matched up against them. Their game against Cincinnati put the Bears on high-alert as they barely escaped Cinci-Light with a 78-65 win. Anyways, on to what matters! TULSA EDITION.
WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DRINKING?
For this and the food section we’re taking a tip from our friend, CBS’ very own Kyle Boone. Kyle was generous enough to provide a list of places in Tulsa to eat and drink your celebrations/sorrows away!
Elgin Park is a classic gastropub that offers indoor and outdoor seating - which is important. If you’re looking to keep it simple and clean then Elgin Park is your best bet. Be sure to try their myriad of fanfare to help soak up the... beverages you’re going to order. My favorite review on yelp for Elgin Park is this brilliantly written: “Pizza was great. Beer was awesome. Pretzel was enormous.” Go get you an enormous Pretzel!
Look here, I like the look and appeal of this bar. Brick wall supporting one side, shelves and shelves of alcohol supporting the other? If you walk into a bar and see that a key piece of the structural integrity of that building is in fact the alcohol it serves - that’s a respectable bar. They even have this obscure procedure of having you list a few personality traits (i.e. playful, complex, etc) and/or tastes you like (i.e. sour, sweet, fruity) from a small prompt and they MAKE A DRINK BASED ON YOU. You’ll probably hate it.
Disclaimer: This bar is named Valkyrie. We are playing a team whose mascot is the Norse. I imagine a number of their fans will flock here simply for the namesake so beware!
Are you a fan of brautwurst? Do you enjoy an adage to the Rhineland countryside? Are you hiding a dark national history in your lockbox? Then try Fassler Hall! This is a quaint indoor/outdoor bier garten that offers plenty of beer options as well as German food. If you go I suggest you get the sausage sampler and order, like, six German draft beers (all of them). Prost!
WHAT SHOULD YOU BE EATING?
FRESH. MOZZARELLA. IN. HOUSE. Andolini’s gets a lot of praise and with good reason. These larger than life pizzas with either house-made or extremely fresh ingredients is a critical piece of Tulsa’s food scene. With the rise of “profitability” in restaurants it’s easy to expect a not-so-engorging experience at pizzarias and such. Not so with Andolini’s! You want a meatlovin pizza? You’ll get enough meat to give you the meat sweats! You want a margherita pizza? Well you better prepare to be stopped up for a week - because of the love.
There is a lot to be said about Phat Philly’s and you can be sure that it’s a lot like this sandwich: messy, slapped together, but amazing. A yelp review from Jeff S. reads more like a Cheesesteak Odyssey and I tried to put it all in this Anti-Preview but it’s too long! Read it here: Jeff’s Odyssey
So Kyle swears that they have the elite puffy taco. If there’s any word that Red Raiders should respond to it is elite. And if puffy tacos weren’t enough to bring you in, they’ve also got just about every other Mexican item you can imagine! It’s the best of the best in Tulsa and that’s good enough to bring me in.
BEST THING ABOUT THE GAME
It’s the NCAA Tournament, it’s nearby Lubbock (comparatively), we’re a 13.5 point favorite, and it’s more Texas Tech basketball. Seriously - what else do you need?!
FIVE REASONS TO DISLIKE NORTHERN KENTUCKY
- What the hell is this? If anything it’s horns down and only horns down. Plus pointing a gun at the ground is proper gun-safety protocol. ....smh, northerners.
GUNS DOWN!!! NORSE UP!!!!!!!— Andy Nemann (@ArizonaAndy) March 17, 2019
2. They live and die by the three. Overall they’re ranked 46th in the nation in scoring at 77.8 PPG. NKU averages about 24 shot attempts from beyond the arc and make 9 or so a game. Don’t be fooled, though, they have 301 made 3-pointers this year. That eclipses every team in the Big 12 easily. When Tech defends well it is fine, but when we other teams get hot from three (like that Baylor game) then you better order another round of beer. Frustrating as hell.
3. They aren’t Kentucky, they aren’t Cincinnati, it just begs the question of why bother?
4. I’m running out of things because I don’t know them at all.
5. Buffalo Wild Wings super-duper screwed Texas Tech in their bracket based on which mascot would win in a battle. Tech doesn’t even make it out of the first round against Victor the MFing Viking of NKU. OK, HOW DOES A GUN WIELDING MASCOT LOSE TO THIS?
Makes me want to punch something, but no matter. GAME ON FRIDAY AT 12:30. LET’S RIDE.