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The Anti-Preview: Texas Tech VS Baylor

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We’re bringing you pubs and grubs!

The forecast is in and despite being November seats are hot hot hot in Lubbock. After coming up short in overtime, the Red Raiders are sitting 4-5 on the season with decreasing chances to nab a bowl game. Fear not, fellow fans! Although we may be down – we are certainly not out. There are still a couple of weeks of good football action to be had and it is within the power of this team to not only survive but to excel. The boys are traveling to Arlington this weekend to face an absolute menace in the…

BAYLOR BALOOS

Half as musical and certainly far removed from India, the Baylor football team comes into this weekend on a thrilling-high from their win last weekend against a stout Kansas team. Led behind standout quarterback Charlie Brewer, the over-sized Ewoks took it to the Jayhawks through the air and dominated the game with over 450 yards of total offense.

NCAA Football: Baylor at Kansas Jay Biggerstaff-USA TODAY Sports

The Baylor defense also got it done by holding Kansas to less than 300 yards of offense and forcing two turnovers throughout the game. Despite the fair share of injuries around the board, Baylor looked like their old jumpy selves last weekend. In turn, the Fozzie bears be expected to come out this weekend hoping to hand the Red Raiders their sixth loss of the season. But since they’re only 1-8 I won’t get ahead of myself. Onward to the only preview you need!

WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DRINKING?

The Dallas Cowboys Stadium, aka the less cool AT&T stadium, is nestled right between Fort Worth and Dallas – so that means the drinks are numerous as they are potent. Another 11am game means another questionable choice of pregame beverages but since you don’t seem to have any reservations about it:

SOME CLOSE BAR SUGGESTIONS:

Milos Bar on W. Divison: A patio, a large draft menu, and a friendly atmosphere.

Kool Keg on E. South St: If you want margs, boy, they got margs.

J. Gilligan’s Bar & Grill on S. Mary St : this one has a shuttle to the stadium! Also despite it’s similarity, I have no relation to this bar. Unfortunately.

In the case you hate any one of them, then they’re all (almost literally) right next to each other. Check another one out! If you hate all of them – just get a water at the stadium, you plonker.

WHAT SHOULD YOU BE EATING?

I know how much you love talking about food, so I’ve done my research again and come back with some juicy items. This year the AT&T stadium has unveiled some new menu items for the patrons that come through its glass doors. First up on the list is the “Heaven and Hell” – coming in at a whopping (no idea how many pounds) and costing (have no idea how much), this burger is dipped in buffalo sauce and accompanied by a Roma tomato, romaine lettuce and oh yeah topped with fried mac and cheese. Another new addition to the stadium repertoire is the “Pro Bowl.” This kebab boasts pierced marinated Mongolian-glazed beef or chicken, sweet onions and bell peppers all atop a bed of fried rice. According to the stadium directory you can find these new items at the sections 219/245 and 202/227 respectively.

If you’re curious what the food of the day is on the eleventh… why, it’s national Sundae day! No matter the outcome of the game this weekend – you can always end on a good note with a top-notch sundae.

WHAT SHOULD YOU BE WEARING?

Okay, I’m getting tired of telling you to get dressed. We have to get out of this stage of our relationship sometime.

BEST THING ABOUT THIS GAME?

It honestly should be a guaranteed W, but there’s still an air of suspicion that we could get blown out and hate ourselves. BOY DO WE LOVE SUSPENSE! An encouraged Baylor team versus an increasingly desperate Red Raider team makes for one heck of a matchup.

Aha, get it? BEARable.. ?! I’m sorry. Just BEAR with me.

FIVE REASONS TO DISLIKE TEX-… BAYLOR

1. This one is close to my heart. They beat Kansas. Had they lost to Kansas, I would have been able to introduce them as the Baylor “Owens,” on account of their 0-9 record. Alas, duped.

2. It’s in Waco.

3. Robert Griffin III showed an incredible amount of promise in his game, but when he moved to the NFL: “aaaaaaaand it’s gone.”

4. On the official Baylor University website they have an introduction to Washington County that boasts the region’s production of corn. YOU THOUGHT I WOULDN’T FIND IT?! STOP THE CORN, BAYLOR – STOP IT.

5. (fill in the blank, I’m at a loss in the amount of options available)

AT THE END OF THE DAY

“Moderate lamentation is the right of the dead, excessive grief the enemy to the living.”

You can thank Shakespeare’s play All’s Well That Ends Well for that one. As the title suggests, the hope of the successful turn is enough to drive an audience onward through almost any amount of bleakness. I understand completely that this season has been a doozy but there still remains a chance of a bowl game and, more importantly, a win against Texas. With that, my dearest reader, should we find new vigor in our steadfast devotion to being Red Raiders! Block out your fears, your angers, and rise with guns up as our football team travels to Arlington to try and stop this streak of losses and pursue a new dawn! Also if you haven’t seen Gene Wilder’s Young Frankenstein it’s on Netflix so... check that out sometime.

Ok I tried. Get riled up people - it’s football.

NCAA Football: Kansas State at Texas Tech Michael C. Johnson-USA TODAY Sports