As the offseason has trudged along, I’ve written a couple articles ranking things. For Independence Day, I ranked the 50 United States, and earlier this week I ranked the cities of the Big 12. Keen observers noticed I hadn’t visited all 50 states and all 10 Big 12 cities, mostly because certain states or cities are not worth visiting, thus justifying it being ranked towards the lower end and prompting angry responses from their citizens.
So I’ve compiled the best responses from people who got #MadOnline and e-mailed me or tweeted at me. Enjoy!
1. Baylor Guy
It’s bad enough to pound thumbs on Twitter about something that doesn’t even matter, but it’s even worse when you won’t put a face or a name to it. Insulting people online because they don’t like your city, and not even revealing who you are, is a mild form of cowardice.
Enter this Baylor fan. #MadOnline that I don’t like Waco, he dealt quite the blow to me on Twitter. First, yes I realize the fish in my Twitter picture is not a 2,000 pound great white shark. I was fishing in a small pond and, alas, caught a pretty small fish. The socks insult is even better, though. This guy tried to make a joke out of plain, white, regular socks that millions of people wear every day. If I was wearing neon pink knee-high socks, it would make more sense. Regardless, "hella" nice try, BearVol (whoever you are).
2. Professor from Nigeria
This guy doesn’t live in America, but as a professor, I guess he couldn’t help but lecture me on my rankings of the United States. He doesn’t like Texas (probably because he’s from one of the inferior 49 states), and tried to resort to insulting our state’s education system. In so doing, he made a typo ("ere"). I’ll take "irony" for $400, Alex.
3. Peaked In High School Rob Lowe
Standing up for the state of Oklahoma is a tall order. This guy got #MadOnline, and in his fit of rage rambled about me not visiting all of the states (though I have visited the one in question multiple times) and high school football, which has absolutely nothing to do with anything I wrote. Not sure why he brought up my pay either, since it also wasn't discussed at all. It's almost as if he's responding to a different article. Anyway, Oklahoma is terrible, this guy knows it, the end.
4. Jersey Shore Guy
This guy doesn’t realize people only think of "Jersey Shore" when they think of people who live in New Jersey, and not in a good way. Come on down to Texas sometime, Jersey Shore guy. We have gyms, tanning beds, and laundromats.
5. New Hampshire Guy
He's probably just confused.
The best part of all this is that the rankings aren’t meant to be taken seriously. I wrote them for fun because there’s not a whole lot to write about this time of year. Anyway, I always welcome feedback, and keep an eye out for the next time I rank something!