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3 AM Thoughts Imagines College Football Teams As Oscar Winners

I have clinical Insomnia, which means I barely ever sleep. Sometimes my mind goes to weird places. These are those weird places.

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It is with regret that I inform you that the celebrities were at it again at the Oscars. Here are the Oscar winners as College Football Teams.

A setting in the mountains with rednecks. 1860's ideals. People getting mauled by bears. A historic actor that finally won the big one and gets to ride off into the sunset. Probably a lot of moonshine. Lots of guns. The Revenant is Tennessee.

An overarching conspiracy. A plot to take it down with solid journalism that results in a lot of heartache. Obnoxiously long articles that are taking a moral stance. Take your pick, Spotlight is either Thayer Evans or Oklahoma State.

Many emotions packed into a coming of age story. An overarching joy that has to learn to intermingle with sadness to cope. Anger typically ruins everything. Inside Out is every College Football team ever.

Fighting the big banks and using dirty money to get rich quick. Fair housing has been an issue in the past. Sometimes they can appear to be comedic, but the talent behind it means they're probably going to run you over anyways. The Big Short is Ole Miss.

It's incredibly fast-paced, and runs on gasoline. Chrome is now a primary color somehow. It won many small awards, but couldn't win the big ones. Mad Max: Fury Road is Oregon.