In an unprecedented move, Texas Tech has made a foray into the fictional world of BASEketball.
Inspired by the aforementioned motion picture, Texas Tech is hoping that Baseketball will take the country by storm. According to www.baseketballthemovie.blogspot.com, the rules of baseketball are incredibly simple, yet complex.
Like in baseball, the game lasts for nine innings. In the event of a tie, extra innings are player. Like in baseball, the game lasts for 9 innings; in the event of a tie, extra innings are played.
There are two teams, with three players on each. Teams with more than 3 players can make substitutions, but there is no re-entering a game.
For the team on offense, after the order of players is determined, a player chooses a square. The squares next to the basket are bunts, from the free throw line are singles, from the top of the key is a double, a bit behind the three point line is a triple, and "behind the meatballs" is a home run.
For the team on defense, three players are on the court. Their main defense is the psyche-out, a diversionary tactic to break the shooter's concentration and make them miss.
Typically, two of the players camp out near the basket in order to turn double plays.
Texas Tech currently has no recruits for this exciting new sport, so they will have to use players from current sports in order to fill their roster. Without any further ado, here is your 2016-2017 Texas Tech Baseketball team!
Raider Red may seem like an odd choice, but there will be no one better at the crucial psyche-out position than Texas Tech's mascot. I cannot imagine how hard it would be to shoot when faced with, well, an actual gun.
No one will be better at turning double plays than Texas Tech's prolific dunker Zach Smith. He shoots free throws adequately, but his obvious strength will be around the rim, where he can play defense where he formerly played offense. Smith is a great asset to this team.
The Dancing Ginger
Known primarily for his antics, the Dancing Ginger brings fire to the team as well as underrated shooting capability.
An Unnamed Member of Saddle Tramps
The Saddle Tramp will bring spirit to the team, solid psyche-outs, and an unparalleled passion for the game. What he won't bring is much shooting, but everyone needs a designated bunter, right?
Obviously Patty Ice makes this list. He'll bring home run ability from all over the field, and he'll bring the icey freshness and swagtastic play that we've come to expect from this dominant former multisport athlete.
COACH: Bobby Knight and a Random Chair
GET BACK UP THERE ON THAT FREE THROW LINE BOY WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? REF! REF! THIS IS OBVIOUSLY BULLCRAP!
Let's get out there and support these Red Raiders!