Monday Mailbag

The Mailbag took last week off so please forgive any typos or rambling sentences. We spent most of the week trying to win stuffed animals from the claw game at Wal-Mart and the rest of our time betting on three legged horses.

It's good to be home.

First, we want to circle back (corporate lingo bingo B-24 on your cards) to a question from Steve during the first week of the mailbag.

Question from Steve: Any word on whether or not the Texas Tech Staff will get back to having a coaching clinic for area HS coaches? I think it was a great link to coaches and some of the talent around here during the Leach days. Tuberville's version of this was, like the team during his tenure, much more subdued and less entertaining. Looking forward to Kliff bringing it back to prominence as well. Thanks!

VTM Mailbag: We got a response from Kenny Bell, head of football operations:

I apologize for the late response. I am sure you have already moved forward from this, but I wanted to reply anyway. We are not planning on having a coaches clinic this summer. We may have one in the Spring/Summer of 2014, but nothing has been finalized.

Question from Nea: If you were conducting the interview with Kingsbury on ESPN, what would be your top "football" related question and what would be your top "non-football" related question?

VTM Mailbag: Let's slowly peel the layers back on this onion (G-7). Here are the questions we would ask:

Top football related question: With the stable of running backs you have going into the fall, would you prefer to tailor your running game similar to the approach you and Holgorson took at Houston (attacking the edges), or similar to what Briles is doing with Lache Seastrunk & Co. at Baylor (play action and draws up the middle) or all the above (see: Oregon)?

Top non-football related question: Will you give me twenty bucks for this tester bottle of Sex Panther Cologne (I-2)?

Question from Steven: Of the four pansy ass programs that are former members of the Big 12, which do you miss the least?

VTM Mailbag: Kansas

Question from George: Why does Johnny football hate ATM so much?

VTM Mailbag: I don't think he hates A&M, I think he just gets bored in College Station. I'm sorta in the minority, but I think people get too caught up in all the "JFF can't handle the fame hoopla." Here's what he's guilty of in the past year:

1. Tinting his windows.

2. Popping firecrackers in his mouth.

3. Dressing like Scooby. (I-17)

4. Getting a Longhorn tattoo.

5. Beating Alabama.

6. Winning the Heisman.

There's only so many times you can dunk your ring in a pitcher of beer at the Dixie Chicken and not go a little stir crazy on Twitter. It's probably blasphemous to say on a Tech blog, but at the end of the day (N-12) JFF will be fine and probably have a helluva sophomore year. But JFF still hates salad.

And our final question this week comes from LOAN DEPARTMENT: LOAN OFFER @3% IF INTERESTED CONTACT US. WITH YOUR, LOAN AMOUTH, LOAN DURATION, COUNTRY, AGE, SEX.

VTM Mailbag: Contact is on the way. Here's what we've filled out so far on the application. We've gotta admit though, from 30,000 feet (G-9) you've certainly got a fully baked system (O-16)

LOAN AMOUTH: What?

LOAN DURATION: 72 years.

COUNTRY: Hell yeah. (B-2)

AGE: 39.

SEX: Hell yeah. (G-11 for the bingo players at home)

AND OH YEAH THAT'S A BINGO BITCH SLAP A HIPPIE!

So that's it for this week's mailbag. We hope you found some value in the Q&A but more importantly we hope you got to slap a hippie and yell BINGO BITCH.

If you have questions for next week email us at SARR MAILBAG AT YAHOO DOT COM or on Twitter @FakeWillyT.

PS: All the Fed Ex people, and Lotto people, and African Princes, and billionaires with heart disease please leave me alone on email. I don't have time to fill out all your requests to get your 40% of millions and besides I've already filled out about 71 or so and I haven't got shit yet in the mail and I've been taking off work just in case the trucks show up so leave me alone for a while, ok?