BREAKING: PITBULL AND GEICO ANNOUNCE PARTNERSHIP, WORLD BRACES FOR END

This partnership has been inevitable. These two Godzillas have been circling each other on the airwaves for years, and we've been mere spectators. They finally entered into a binding agreement to take over the planet and VTM has a copy of the contract. It is Dante's fourth circle of greed. "Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate"

By Travis Hale@LubbockElitist Jul 19, 2013, 11:00am CDT

PARTNERSHIP AGREEMENT

THIS PARTNERSHIP AGREEMENT is made this 4^th day July 2013 by and between the following individuals:

GEICO- Address: One Geico Plaza, Washington DC 20076

PITBULL- Address: The Dirty

1. Nature of Business

The partners above agree that they shall be considered partners in a business for the following purpose:

A. Consummate, Infiltrate, Dominate:

i. Those bitches invented DVRs and Pandora to try and avoid us, but they can't get away. If they won't watch our commercials or listen to our songs we agree to catch ‘em early and catch 'em dirty. We're not sure what that means but it sounds badass. We will consummate our shit to spend dollars, I mean billions, until we own every second of every day on TV, radio, magazines and fortune cookies.

ii. Get Flo from Progressive disappeared. I mean, we can't legally talk about things like this in a partnership agreement, but c'mon. Even Mutombo thinks her voice is annoying.

iii. Pitbull agrees to take over as host of American Idol. The show will feature contestants vying to be in the next GEICO commercial and the show will be sponsored by GEICO. Hilarity will ensue when some idiot tries to talk like Maxwell the Pig and he totally screws it up and all the judges laugh him out of the studio. The show will be called:

Ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay Mundo

iv. Ryan Seacrest will be the new GEICO commercial star. We'll dress him up like a cow or Fred Flinstone or whatever we want, who cares.

B. Other stuff we will dominate:

i. Partners agree to buy Google and Apple and combine their assets to open a huge GAP store in Minnesota where we'll sell a shit load of white belts.

ii. Partners will purchase the state of Hawaii and rename it "South Alaska".

iii. Partners will purchase the state of Alaska and rename it "New Hawaii".

iv. Pitbull will be continued to be paid in benjis, frankies and c-notes. This is very important.

2. Name

The partnership shall be conducted under the name of DETROIT, LLP and shall maintain offices at:

Worldwide, All Over, Sometimes Tokyo, 305 ,USA

3. Day-to-Day Operation

The partners shall provide their full-time services and best efforts on behalf of the partnership. Pitbull will report live from the tallest building in Tokyo. The lizard will do hilarious outtakes which will be aired on a loop instead of all other commercials. We will buy the Super Bowl, promptly cancel it and replace it with the pig chasing the lizard around a castle golden. We will buy baseball and replace it with the Homerun Derby, where Pitbull can perform every Thursday. Additionally, we will buy ESPN and host the ESPY's every Tuesday night at 8pm Eastern.

4. Capital Contribution

The capital contribution of each partner to the partnership shall consist of the following property, services, or cash which each partner agrees to contribute.

Name of Partner	Capital Contribution	% Share
Pitbull	Time	Time is money like a stopwatch only difference is I own it
Dikembe Mutombo	Vocal Chords	Both of them
Little Lizard	His soul	75% of his soul to the partnership. Jim Morrision was buried with 22% and Keith Richards ate 3%
The little pile of money with eyes	A little pile of money	All the money in the little pile

5. Profits and Losses

We vote for all profit.

6. Term/Termination

The term of this Agreement shall be for a period of 350 years, or until everyone from Helsinki to London to Paris to the DR has agreed to only live in the moment and save 15% on their car insurance.

7. Disputes

This Partnership Agreement shall be governed by the laws of the State of 305. Any disputes will result in Pitbull roasting Maxwell the Pig in Hawaii or Malaysia or Tom Cruise's house. Pitbull also reserves the right to roast that camel if his crew is still hungry.

8. Non-Compete Agreement

This street is what scoot ‘em and made ‘em slicker, too slick with the ruler.

Any competition to this partnership will be forced to explain the previous sentence or will be prosecuted dirty.

9. Make Sense Don't It?

Yes.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, the partners have duly executed this Agreement on the 4^th of July because it's a new Independence Day from the ATL to the LBC. From the 305 to the 612. From the 361 to the Canadian area code. This is a new worldwide. We're partners now and we're DETROIT. Witness whereof that, bitches.

_______________________ (Pitbull)

_______________________ (GEICO)

Document produced by 305 Caveman Productions, LLC.