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Dear Santa,
How are the reindeer? Did you have a safe trip from the North Pole? Does breaching the space-time continuum give you nosebleeds?
There is something for you in the tree. It's a copy of NCAA Football '10 for XBOX 360 with our beloved Michael Crabtree on the cover. You can't have it, I just thought it looked cool and you would appreciate its impeccable placement. It's as if the tree grew around it.
I like food, Santa, and so do you, am I right, Mr. Bowl Full of Jelly?? (High five! No??) And since I know for a fact that the codename for your sleigh is Raider Red, we can dispense with the "Oh, Santa loves ALL college teams equally" gobbeldy-gook.
I have written a theme below that could have been ripped straight from the J. Peterman Catalog. It combines our shared passion for food and the Red Raiders, just so you don't forget to treat yourself this Christmas.
Say hello to Donner for me and remind him that he owes me $50.
Hugs,
LoneStarRedRaider
A Theme - What Red Raider Fans Want for Christmas
It's time to start the grill. What do you do: go outside and get the charcoal going? No! You must first get dressed.
What to wear, what to wear... I know! How about a Hawaiian shirt? I love these shirts, and so should you.
And, what about that noggin of yours? Doesn't it need to be protected from the harmful ultraviolet rays of West Texas sunshine? This Gambler straw hat (no formal association to former coach Tuberville or Kenny Rogers) should keep you out of harm's way.
Take a look at yourself. You look breathtaking, so the last thing you want to do is get charcoal soot all over your new duds. Here, take this apron, especially since you haven't put on any pants yet.
Since you'll be outside for a while, load up your cooler. Who has time to bend down for a cold beverage, anyway? And don't forget to keep that drink frosty with this stylish koozie. All that glitters is not gold!
How do you plan on flipping those burgers or pulling off that rack of ribs? John Wayne would just use his hands, but since you're not the Duke, how about a nice BBQ set.
If you're anything like me, sometimes you make a few notes while you're grilling or on the smoker, especially if you're trying a new recipe. For that, I give you this convenient spiral notepad and a pen & pencil set.
Slicing a brisket is an art form. Master it on this cutting board.
Well done! What a feast! Relax, and take a sip of your favorite brown liquor in style.
Oh no, is it a close game? Better take the bottle...
Merry Christmas, VTM!
