Johnny Manziel likes to party. We like to party. We should all party.

Lets party Johnny

Can you imagine what would happen if we went to the desert and ate some peyote and drank some Keystone Light and partied with Johnny Manziel?

Over the weekend Johnny was just looking for a place to party. He was rudely kicked out of a frat party in Austin on Friday night. But, like a true champion, he didn't give up and kept looking for a place to party. We decided to reach out to Johnny and let him know he's welcome to party with us anytime because we like to party. And we have a lot in common. Johnny won the Heisman, Raider Red won the Mascot Challenge, so we're in select company together. It'll be like ex-presidents getting together to sing karaoke. This is something that should happen, so we want to paint a picture of the epic-ness that will ensue.

The following is a dramatic re-creation of how hard we're gonna party.

Johnny will sneak a Keystone Light

Then Raider Red will start making it rain

Then Johnny will put on his Tebow jersey

Then Raider Red will make it rain again

But suddenly Johnny will get pissed and start sending pictures of his Heisman like freakin' Carlos Danger to random dudes

So Raider Red will try to calm him down by making it rain $2 BILLS FOR JOHNNY

Johnny loves the $2 bills so he'll calm down and kill Michael Jackson at the pool

Then the shit will get crazy when Spiderman and a tiger and Cowboy Santa and a golden dude on a golden bicycle show up and everybody will dance the robot.


Everybody knows it's not really a party until Cowboy Santa shows up and that golden bicycle dude is a damn machine. Cowboy Santa will tell the story about the time Mack Brown drank a mess of Sangria and dreamed that he captured Bigfoot and everybody will crack up. Then we'll sing Blurred Lines for a few hours until we run out Stones. Everybody will get tired so Spider Man will make pancakes. We'll eat like rock stars and crash on the floor.

All in all it'll be a great party, even though that tiger ate the camera and we can't take any more pictures.

But it's gonna be an epic party.

Call us when you're ready to party Johnny.

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