The Mail Bag.
Dear Abby started the trend 143 years ago and Dave Letterman made it famous in the 60's I think. Incredibly, it continues to be a viable segment on a variety of sports, entertainment and news shows. The best in the game solicit questions from viewers or readers and provide intelligent, substantive answers borne from years of experience and expertise.
You're probably not gonna get any of that here. But we'll do our best.
We set up an email address specifically designed to gather, sort and answer your questions on a weekly basis. We've put together a brain trust that can answer questions on virtually any topic, and hope we can make it entertaining at the same time. You've got all these questions swirling and hopefully we can help.
What's the best temp to cook spare ribs? Will Michael Brewer rush for 500 yards? How can I make my bougainvilleas love me? Who will step up in the secondary with the departure of Cody Davis? Black Keys or Black Crowes? Will LeBron stay in Miami if they win the championship? Who cares about stupid LeBron and all his stupid stuff? How much gas can you put in a diesel engine and not blow the sumbitch up? How many games will Tech win this year?
We'll gather questions during the week at SARRMailbag@yahoo.com. We'll choose the most relevant and post answers the following Monday. This should be fun during the off season and we want to encourage participation. If you don't like our answers, tell us. We want to make this as interactive as possible and want to have some fun during the summer while hopefully offering some value.
To whet your whistle, here's a few examples of some of the knowledge our brain trust has been dropping in the beta tests during the NBA Finals:
Question from my wife as she's researching medications during Game 1: How do you spell amoxicillin?
Our Answer: TONY PARKER HAS BIG BALLS
Question from I_LoveCats2424: Who is the best GM in the history of the NBA?
Our Answer: RC Buford, no doubt.
Question, continued from I_LoveCats2424: Can you elaborate?
Our answer: No.
Question from BigMama'sBackPocket1582: Of all the celebrities in the world, who are you most concerned about, health wise?
Our answer: Arsenio
C'mon Arsenio. Let's walk it out.
Question from MyTeethAreFuckedUP_2128: Is Ray Allen happy to see us?
Our Answer: No. It's just a banana.
We're pretty sure it's just a banana. Wait, wait, we now have confirmation. It's just a banana. We're pretty sure.
As you can see from our beta tests, we pretty much have it covered. WE ANSWER ALL THE QUESTIONS.
So, email your questions to SARRMailbag@yahoo.com or you can submit your question on Twitter. I'm @FakeWillyT and Seth is @Vivathematador, but don't mess with Seth because he's busy and I only have lawn care companies following me so I've got a lot of excess capacity. If it's important or difficult, I'll send it to Seth. Trust me. If you're a premium member, shoot me a text.
Together, we'll make the world a better place if we just keep asking questions.
Except for LeBron James. Screw you LeBron James and your potential questions. Who cares about your shit.
And also that guy that asked about Ray Allen. No more questions from you. Screw you and your corn cob teeth.
But the rest of you, please fire away. It took me all day to set up the email account so let's not give my wife the satisfaction of knowing that I totally wasted the whole day, ok?
Let's do this.
Mail bag questions to SARRMailbag@yahoo.com and we'll reconvene next Monday.