FanPost

Why I think Tuberville is so Awesome

Ok,  I saw LondonRaider’s comment and will gladly jump in it.  But, I have to jump in it with my own spin. 

So we’ll all find out why Tuberville is so awesome from a guy juiced up on HGH, donkey steroids and RedBull.  He’s also just finished a whole box of Oreo’s and his skin is a little purple. 

Because of this, he can only write in short machine gun bursts and has a tendency to ramble. Some of you may have met him Saturday night.

Trust me, this will be fun.  And kids- never, ever, ever eat a whole box of Oreo’s.  It’s not healthy.

 

 

 

WHY TUBERVILLE IS SO AWESOME!

 

1.     1.TUBERVILLE IS SO AWESOME BECAUSE HIS NAME ONLY HAS ONE B IN IT BUT YOU WOULD SWEAR THERE ARE TWO B’S I MEAN IT’S PRONOUNCED TUB-BER-VILLE BUT THERE’S ONLY ONE B IN THE WHOLE THING.  THE B MAKES YOU WANT TO HAVE MORE B’S BUT NOT TOO MANY B’S OR YOU’LL END OF LIKE BILL DANCE AND NOT BE ABLE TO CATCH ANY MORE CATFISH THAT DAY.


GIFSoup

 

 

2.     2.OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK HERE’S NUMBER 2:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA IJUST TOOK AN INTERNET DUMP HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

 

3.     3.OK, OK OK OK OK OK OK HERE GOES THAT TREY:

HE’S GONNA FINALLY WINUS THAT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

4.     4.CHECK IT OUT CHECK IT OUT:

ALLYOU GUYSTHATBITCH AND MOAN ALL DAY ON DTN WERE STILLWATCHIN THE WONDER YEARS ANDHIDIN UNDER YOURMAMA’S BED WHENTOMMY WAS FINDIN GUYS LIKE RAY MOTHERHUMPIN LEWIS AND BRINGIN HIM TO MIAMI TO PLAY AND WHEN I SAY PLAY I MEAN RIPPIN SUCKAS ARMS OFF AND THEN EATIN THE FOOTBALL THAT WAS JUST BEING CARRIED BY THAT LOSER WITH NO MORE ARMS. THEN HE FOUND A DUDE NAMED CADILLAC YOU TELLME YOU DON’T WANT A DUDE NAMED CADILLAC CRUSIN THE LOOP AND I’LL TEL YOU YOU’RE LYIN.

Fred_medium

via dillpickleclub.org

 

5.     5.I WANNA HEAR A DRUMROLL:

HIS MIDDLE NAME IS HAWLEY WHICH IS BY FAR THE BEST MIDDLE NAME ANY MAMA EVER NAMED A KID I MEAN WHO WOULNDT WANT THE NAME HAWLEY? WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES I CAN PICTURE A HAWLEY FROM ANCIENT GREECE AND IT PROBABLY LOOKED LIKE THIS:

Totally-awesome_medium

via www.nuncscio.com

 

6.     6.NUMBER 6.  THIS IS FRIGGIN’ AWESOME:

totally-awesome

 

 

7.     7.RIGHT HERE: HE’S RECRUINTIN SOME BIG TIME PLAYERS TO COME INTO THE HUBCITY AND MAKE A MARKON THE HUBCITY AND BURN THE EYES OUT OF ANYONE THAT WATCHES THESE BIG TIME PLAYERS. PLUS HE’S NEVER KILLED FIVE HOOKERSLIKE CRAIG JAMES BUT THOSE BIG TIME PLAYERS BETTER GET COACHED UP.

 

8.     8.NUMBER 8. CHECK IT OUT: I REALLY ALWAYS LIKED HIM WHILE HE WAS AT AUBURN AND THEN NEVER IMAGINED THAT HE WOULD BE COACHIN IN TECH BECAUSE THE PIRATE WOULD BE HERE FOREVER AND I WAS REALLY PISSED OFF WHEN THEY FIRED HIM AND I STILL WANT TO GO FISHIN WITH HIM BUT HE’S NOT COACH AT TECH SO I CAN EITHER TRY TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO THINK TUBERVILLE IS AWESOME EVEN THOUGH HE STILL PISSES ME OFF SOMETIMES BUT OH WELL WHO DOESN’T PISS ME OFF I MEAN EVEN WHEN I CALL TO ORDER THE SPORTS PACKAGE IN NOT HD ON SATURDAY I GIVE MY PHONE NUMBER TO THE AUTOMATIC CABLE LADY THEN I GIVE IT TO THE REAL CABLE LADY THEN I GIVE IT TO THE REAL CABLE TECHNICIAN GUY AGAIN SO HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU NEED MY PHONE NUMBER AND WHY DO I HAVE ALL THIS SECURITY PINS TO GO THROUGH BECAUSE HOW MANY CRIMINALS SIT AROUND ORDERING HBO FOR OTHER PEOPLES CABLE BOXES?

 

9.     9.HERE WE GO HERE WE GO HERE WE GO.  NUMBER 10:  I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO GET PISSED OFF AT TUBERVILLE AND ANY OF HIS COACHES BECAUSE THEY ARE GETTING PAID GOOD MONEY SO THAT I CAN TAKE MY DONKEY STEROIDS AND DRINK MY RED BULL AND YELL AT THE INTERNET AND DON’T TELL ME TO STOP THE HGH BECAUSE IM GONNA TAKE IT UNTIL I GET 8 FEET TALL BECAUSE IM SICK OF BUYIN LADDERS ALL THE TIME.  AND DTN HAS PEOPLE THAT CAN SEE THE BRIGHT SIDE AND PEOPLE THAT WANT TO SEE TUBERVILLE COACH HIS ASS OFF AND BEAT TEAMS WITHOUT TALKIN ABOUT IT AND THAT’S OK.  WE HAVE THE YEN AND THE YANG AND NEVER THE TWAIN SHALL MEET BECAUSE BRUCE LEE TAUGHT US THAT.  WE’RE STILL TECH FANS ALL OF US AND WE’LL STILL BE GETTING BEHIND THE COUCH ON THIRD DOWN FOREVER. AND NOBODY SHOULD EVER BE TOLD TO MOVE ON IF THEY DON’T WANT TO BECAUSE THIS ISN’T RUSSIA.

 

10.  10.I’M SO SLEEPY RIGHT NOW.

Totally-awesome-80s-party-costumes-800x800_medium

via img.ehowcdn.com

 

BTWBTW THOSE FIVE DUDES KNOW HOW TO PARTY

<em>This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Viva The Matadors' writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Viva The Matadors' writers or editors.</em>

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