Only once before have I used up a fanpost to predict a victory... go read it. It was on October 26, 2008. Well, I didn't predict a victory last year because my intangible meter wasn't feeling like a win was imminent. But my intangible meter is going off... right now.
What does the intangible meter measure? Who knows? The measurables are immeasurable intangibles. If they were tangible, you would know, but you don't, because they aren't tangible (which is what intangible means). I like words that end in "gible", like dirigible (which apparently is like a blimp), and frangible (which sometimes refers to bullets, but also can refer to a dirigible if you are dumb enough to fill it with hydrogen, like in the Hindenburg:
Which brings me to my point, with all the distractions and new stuff, and political junk going on, I had to look elsewhere for intangibles. The intangible meter works better when there aren't a bunch of tangibles mucking up the test. So I point it at Austin, and the intangible meter spit out the picture of the Hindenburg crashing. The unquestionable message? uT is going down. Why? Intangibles.
Sometimes the very weight of history bears down on an event. I am not a football expert, but I am a historian, and anyone who actually studies history knows that there is an ebb and flow of history that transcends individual cause and effect. When that guy said, "Even God couldn't sink the Titanic", you had to just know something bad was going to happen. And it did.. the Titanic, which some idiot had filled with hydrogen, smacked into some antenna thingy and crashed into New Jersey. Why they found the wreckage in the Atlantic, I don't know... because that is an intangible (which means unknowable too).
Here is what I wrote to a good friend on Facebook when he was voicing his opinion that we ought not root for Tech because of what happened to Mike Leach:
" It goes beyond football. It is necessary class warfare. It is the war of the real and legitimate people against the entitled, the cheaters, the aristocracy, the oligarchical asshats of Texas and the world who rule and reign by the sheer accident that their daddies were able to plunder and destroy their enemies long before I was born. They are the principalities, powers, and the rulers of the darkness of this world, they are the epitome of spiritual wickedness in high places. They killed JFK, brought down the towers, handed the Republic over to be raped, tortured, and occupied by Yankees and lowlifes who still feed on the burning corpse of freedom. So yes, I'll be rooting for Texas Tech against the so-called "university of Texas", while the rest of the world bows down to that queen of slime, that queen filth, that queen of putrescence. No matter what the scumbags in the front office do, I won't desert my post"
That quote is full of intangibles, and so is my theory, which is why I know it is right. Texas Tech will win on Saturday because it is RIGHT that we win. And, because the so-called "university of Texas" is full of hydrogen right now, and they are inevitably going to crash into the massive antenna that is the Red Raiders. That makes them frangible, which means that they will bust into a brazilian pieces.
SARR called it, and I'm calling it, even if I thought of calling it before he did. We will win, because this picture is just too awesome:
I know this theory flies in the face of SARR's "formula" theory. I am not superstitious, which means "more than stitious". I'm just regular stitious. So I like logic and science, which is what my theory is based on, even though I am not a professional scientologist. I just think immeasurable intangibles measured through an intangible meter is more scientific than whether or not you hit a squirrel the day before the game.
According to the Intangibility Meter, we will win because of:
a) The vibe of the thing
b) The flow of history
c) The weight of "rightness"
d) The fact that a whole university full of jackholes needs a foot in their collective "James's".
I hope you enjoyed my theory,