The OC Simulator

Naming Potts or Sticks as our starter was one of the big question marks coming into this year.

But now what we want to know is does Potts have a long leash or short leash? 

Under what circumstances should Sticks play now that Potts has been declared the starter?

Tuberville has been understandably evasive, virtually assuring that both QB's will see playing time this year.

But when will Sticks play?  When should Sticks start?

Not easy questions.

So I thought it might be fun to simulate being an OC over the course of the season, and determine how I would manage their playing time.

(sarc) After all, how hard can that be (sarc)?

Since we really don't know what's going to happen this year, I thought it would be best to develop a theoretical OC Simulator based on last year's games.  No shortage of twist and turns there.

The OC Simulator assumes that, as Tuberville and Brown have decided, Potts will be the starter, but Sticks will be ready for action as and when needed.  The Simulator also assumes that we already know what Sticks is capable of.

So enough yammering.  Let's rev up the Simulator and see what happens!


First Game:  North Dakota State.  

Should Sticks Start?  No. First game of the year, Potts is the starter.

Should Sticks Play?  Yep, this should be a cakewalk.

Does Sticks Play? No.

Pep Talk:  First game of the season, boys. 

We don't underestimate anyone around here.

Eastern Washington is a damn fine team.  Damn fine team.

If we're not careful, we might only win by 40 points.

Uh, Coach.

We can't underestimate anyone.


One game at a time.  You hear me.

Uh, Coach?

Yes, Sticks.

It's actually North Dakota State.

What is?

The team we're about to play.

Right. North Dakota State.  That's what I said. Thanks Sticks!

First Quarter

Lawn chair, check. Sun glasses, check.  Sun hat, check.  Fancy drink with umbrella, check. 

Ok everyone let's play some football!

Wake me up at half time.

Potts' 1st Quarter Stats:  8 for 11. 2 TDs.   

ND State: FG. How cute.  Hey look everybody, they scored. Very nice.  Give those boys a nice round of applause. Yes, even you Brandon Carter.

14-3 Texas Tech

Second Quarter

Potts:  3 for 5. INT by Joel Shwarzenhofftenmeir.  What? Who? What was that?

Potts: 4 for 4. 49 yard pass to Detron. Touchdown Red Raiders!   

21-3 Texas Tech

UND:  7 minute drive AND a FG?  What? Ok the first time was cute, like when you shake a dog's paw, but a 7 minute drive and a score?

21-6 Texas Tech

Potts:  3 for 4.  Sack. 

Another INT by Joel Schwitzenbergerman?

Who? Come on Potts, watch out for the guy with all the letters on his jersey!

Potts' Second Quarter Stats:  10 for 13. 1 TD. 2 INT

Potts' half time stats:  18 for 24.  3 TD. 2 INT

Half Time Speech

OK guys let's put this one away so we can get the second team some reps.  See this leash Potts?

Pretty long, no?

Doubles as a whip.  Come on let's go!

Defense, they're half your size. This is North Nebraska for God's sake, not Odessa Permian! Let's play some football!!

Third Quarter

Potts:  4 for 5.  Turnover on downs at the ND State 3 yard line. Wait.  What? We throw a fade route on 4th and 3?  Our OL guys are like 400 pounds. Each!  This is supposed to be hard? 

Holy crap, I think I'm having a Buford T. Justice moment.

OK, Guys, next time, we bull rush it in! Three yards and a cloud of touchdowns. You hear me!

Potts:  3 for 5.  First down and goal to go at the ND State 1 yard line.  All right! Here we go! No fades!!

QB sneak - no gain, second down.  OK.

QB sneak - no gain, third down.  Come on. Just like we practiced

Uh, Coach? 

Yes, Sticks.

We  actually never practice running plays.

Right. Thanks Sticks!

Handoff to Baron Batch - no gain.

For the love of all that is holy!! How is this happening?  I mean, Brandon Carter has a mohawk and everything!

QB sneak on fourth down - Potts scores!! 

28-6 Texas Tech

Ok guys, next time this happens, we know what to do now, right?  Great!! 

Sure we won't run into this problem again. 

Good coaching is all about knowing when to make the right call, right Sticks?

Um, sure Coach.

Fourth Quarter

ND State:  80 yards, 13 plays, 6 minutes.  Touchdown.

28-13 Texas Tech

Ok, everyone.




Potts:  1 for 3.  INT to Joel Schiedermeirdorfer. 

Ok that's it! Long leash my ass!


Post Game Speech:   Wow.  I mean wow.  Not pretty at all. Potts, looking a little shaky big guy.

But in your defense there were like three of those Switzerneitzel guys out there.

Uh, Coach. 

Phone call.  Says he's Craig James.

Sure, I'll talk to him.

Of course you're welcome.  You know everybody gets to play in games like this.

Well, yes he did play well, that's right.

Yep, that's right caught a touchdown and everything.

If he keeps working hard, maybe one day, who knows, he might even start a couple of games.

Well, I mean, I'm not so sure about that. 

Uh huh, well Detron's an All-American talent.

Yeah, I hear you, but Britton's got all world speed and is probably the best downfield blocker we've ever had.

I know that Torres kid is only a first year guy, but he catches everything. 

Sure, but we don't really use tight ends. 

No we're not gonna make up a position just so it looks like he starts.

The next Crabtree? 

Friends in high places?  That's not even how the song goes!

What do you mean I'll be sorry? 

Look Craig, you're really starting to get under my skin.  Gotta go. 

OC Simulator on when to bring in Sticks?  Fourth quarter after 3rd INT.



Should Sticks Start?  Nah.  Potts may not have played well last game, but Potts has a long leash.  Every game is a learning experience. Get over it.

Should Sticks Play?  Yep, second half. Should be an easy one.

Does Sticks Play? Yes.

Pep Talk:

OK guys, I'm gonna be honest with you.

These guys are smart.  I mean real smart.

They'll kick your ass on the SATs all day long and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. 

But, we're not taking SAT's today, are we boys? 

That's it, end of pep talk.

Cliffs' Notes Version:  Potts throws for 6 TDs.  Sticks plays well in mop up duty. 

Post Game Talk:

We're 2-0.  How are we not ranked?  Nobody ever respects us. 

OC Simulator on when to bring in Sticks: Third quarter. Tech up 35-7.



Should Sticks Start? No. Biggest game of the year.  Preference is to ride my lead horse.

Should Sticks Play?  Only if Potts is playing poorly.  Or we need a boost. 

Does Sticks Play? No.

Pep Talk: Boys, forget about all that championship talk.  This game's for all the marbles. It's all downhill from here. Let's go!

First Quarter

Potts 6 for 7.  Field Goal.  Good Start.

3-0 Texas Tech

Potts 1 for 3. Punt.

Come ooon..... High and deep. High and deep. 

Aaaand it's low and short.

Shipley. Touchdown Texas.  Holy Mother of .... not again!! 

3-7 Texas

Potts 3 for 5.  Facemask on the offense, 15 yard penalty.  Punt.

Potts 1 for 2.  Sacked. Punt.

Second Quarter

Texas FG is good. 

3-10 Texas.

Potts 6 for 8. 3 passes go for 3 yards or less. RB fumbles.

LaRon Moore INT!!  Go Tech!

Potts 2 for 3. Three and out.  Punt.

Potts 3 for 4.  Punt.

Potts 2 for 2. RB fumbles, but recovers.

A substitution here?  On the road? Down by only a touchdown? Tough call.

Half Time Speech

OK guys.  We're only down by a touchdown. 

Yeah, I guess lightening does strike twice. 

Put it behind you boys. 

Look at us!

(Music starts)

We're just a bunch of regular two-star guys. 

One day that fancy pants Colt McCoy is gonna be running the practice squad for the Cleveland Browns for 2 days before he get put on waivers. 

Who's it gonna be.  Him or us?

This is your moment.

Watch the picket fence...and don't let the paint dry!


Yes, Sticks?

This is football.  I think that's a line from Hoosiers.

I know, but I already burned my sword line in Friday Night Lights.

Third Quarter

Texas:  66 yards, 11 plays, TD. Okaay, not exactly the best way to start the half, but it's OK. It's OK.

7-17 Texas. 

Potts:  6 for 7.  14 yard TD pass to Leong.  Touchdown Red Raiders! 

14-17 Texas.

Texas:  47 yards, 6 plays. 

14-24 Texas   

Uh, Ruff, I think they made a few adjustments at half time.  Might want to look into that.

Potts: 6 for 7.  10 yard TD pass to Leong. Touchdown Red Raiders! 

21-24 Texas

Wow! 12 for 14 on his last two drives! And all off his back foot! This guy's good! 

Ok, I gotta good feeling about this one...

Fourth Quarter

Potts: INT at the TTU 20.  Gggggggrrrhhh!  (Throw head set on the floor and stomp on it).

DJ Johnson interception!  Ok here's our chance!

Potts: Sack. 14 yard loss. Intentional grounding.  1 for 2.  -2 yards. 

Next Play. (in Slow Motion): Marlon watch out for the . . .  No o o o o ! ! ! (Krrraaackk)

Oooh, that's gonna leave a mark.

Ball is loose! Ball is loose!

Potts hears the mission bells. 

Fumble. Texas recovers at the Tech 9.

Texas scores. 

17-31 Texas 

And just like that. . . so close.

Still, 9:30 minutes left in the game. 

Bring in Sticks? 

Potts! Potts! Over here!  No, no this way. 

You know what you have to do. Now let's go do it.

Inspiring words Coach.

Thanks Sticks!

Potts:  6 for 7. 22 yard TD pass to Swindell.  Touchdown Red Raiders.

Potts "I would like to take this moment to say, F.U. refs, F.U. Colt, F.U. Kindle, F.U. ... oooh what a pretty butterfly...

24-31 Texas

OK, Defense, make or break time!!

Texas FG after 9 play 50 yard drive.

24-34 Texas

3:49 seconds left.  I think I'm going to be sick...

Potts:  3 for 5.  Turnover on downs.

Game over.

Post Game Speech

"Some people say" (begin ninny impression) "Oooo! We played good against UT....Oooh....oooh". 

"Well ef UT, ef them, and ef us!!"

"Did I leave anyone out?"

The media, Coach?

Thanks Sticks!

OC Simulator on when to bring in Sticks?  Sticks sits this one out.  Maybe in the second quarter.  Tough call.



Should Sticks Start? No. Potts was a warrior against Texas.  Played his heart out.

Should Sticks Play?  Of course. What are the odds we lose to this high school team anyway?

Does Sticks Play? No.

Pep Talk: Sure is cozy in this stadium. Reminds me of a minor league soccer stadium in Venezuela. 

OK boys.  Here's the pep talk.  Houston's good.  They have a good quarterback. 

We used to play them in the SWC, which granted was before you or I were born. 

But back then, we had a rivalry.  Understand what I'm saying? 

Now let's get out there and show ‘em how we play in the Big 12.

First Quarter.

"OK Potts, after UT,  this one should be a piece of cake.  Just let it flow!!"

First Drive.  Potts:  1 for 1.  Sack and Fumble. Oh boy...

0-7 Houston

Potts 4 for 6.  Batch scores!  Touchdown Red Raiders!


Potts 3 for 5.  Sack and intentional grounding. Punt. Really? Intentionally? Again?

Potts 1 for 3.  Three and out.  Punt. 

(Might be a good time to bring in Sticks to shake things up)

Second Quarter

Potts 0 for 2. Three and out. Punt. 

(Ok, now definitely would be a good time to bring in Sticks).

Potts. I'm gonna level with you. We've kinda sucked so far.  See what you can about that, ok.

Sticks:  Hey Coach. Look, they're playing soft on the ends.  I think we can surprise them on the outside.

You mean throw it?

No, I mean run it!

Ha, ha.  That's funny Sticks.  Good one.


7-10 Houston

Potts:  2 for 2.  RB's and OL dominate.  Touchdown Red Raiders! 

14-10 Texas Tech

Potts: 2 for 2.  RB's and OL dominate.  Touchdown Red Raiders!

21-10 Texas Tech

UH: 50 yard FG to end the half.  Are you kidding me? 

21-13 Texas Tech

Half Time Speech

OK guys, slow start, but it looks like we're getting our momentum back.

They're playing soft on the ends.  Let's just keep running it.

Sticks. (Facepalm).

Third Quarter

Potts: 2 for 5.  Punt. At least we pin the offense deep...

UH:  87 yard drive in 7 plays. TD.  I thought it was bend. NOT break?

One of these days, I'm gonna have to see what those defensive guys are up to in practice.

21-20 Texas Tech

Potts: 5 for 5.  24 TD pass to Swindell.  Great drive Offense! Let's keep it up!

28-20 Texas Tech

Potts:  1 for 1.  RB fumbles.  Yeesh. 

UH FG.  28-23

Fourth Quarter

Potts: 3 for 4. 

First and goal at the 7.

OK guys.  Let's just bulldoze it in!

Batch up the middle for 3 yards.  Thataway!

Second and goal at the 4. Batch picks up 2 more.  Closer. . .

Third and goal from the 2.   Jeffers 1 yard run.  Fourth and goal from the one. ...

Coach, coach!

Yes Sticks.

See the scoreboard?

Sure do Sticks.

If we kick a field goal, Houston has to score twice to beat us.


Yes Coach?

Don't sweat the small stuff.

"Come one guys, remember North Wisconsin!!"

Potts QB sneak snuffed.

Turnover on downs.

(Rip off Nancy's facemask in disgust).

Interception by Will Ford! Whew, Tech dodges a bullet?  Come on Tech!!

Let's put ‘em away!  This is where champions, uh, I mean, one-game-at-a-timers are made!!

Potts: 2 for 4.  Punt.  Ok, that went well...

Downed at the Houston 5. 

Only six minutes left!

"OK defense.  This is just like practice.  Let's show ‘em what we're made of!!"

UH. 95 yards.  16 plays. TD.

28-29 Houston.





49 seconds left.

Potts:  3 for 6.

Game over.  Head meet sand.  How are we 2 and 2?

Post Game Talk

Did you make the call? 

No, no I didn't make the call. 

You thought I made the call? 

Because I thought. ...

Oh boy...

OC Simulator on when to bring in Sticks? Early first quarter.  Leashes are long, but patience is getting short.


New Mexico

Should Sticks Start? Only if I think I am going to permanently switch to Sticks.  Too early yet.  

Should Sticks Play?  Yep.  This should be Rice 2.0.

Does Sticks Play? Yes.

Pep Talk:  New Mexico has the lowest per capita income in the lower 48 states, and an annual rainfall of 9 inches in some regions.  Let's get ‘em!

Cliffs' Notes:  Potts plays poorly in the first half and sustains a concussion.  Sheffield goes in as soon as it becomes apparent that Potts is hurt, Sticks leads the team to 42 unanswered points.

Post Game Talk:  Someone tell Potts he went to the wrong locker room.  Nice job Sticks!  Next week, you start.


Kansas State

LR Pre-Game QB Strategy: Sticks to start. Potts is battling a concussion (or two). 

Should Sticks Start? Yes. See above.

Does Sticks Play? Yes. See above.

Pep Talk:  Ok guys. Two words. Josh Freeman.

Cliff's Notes:  Sticks starts.  Sticks and Tech destroy the K-State D.  7 touchdown passes!  

Post Game Talk:  Guys, that was amazing.  I mean I don't know how you did it!  All I ever do is teach you how to throw underhand, go 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi and call plays from the back of this here  Dairy Queen napkin. And you guys come up with this masterpiece.  Great job!

OC Simulator on when to bring in Sticks? Sticks starts and finishes.



LR Pre-Game QB Strategy: Sticks!  The team is on a roll!  Potts? Potts is still with the fairies. 

Should Sticks Start? Yes, see above.

Does Sticks Play? Sticks starts, finishes and plays well.

Pep Talk: 


Yeah, Coach.

Watch out for the boy named Suh. 

Everyone else!

Make sure to put a ribbon in Suh's hair.

Game Comments:  Tech's offense and Sticks score 24 points.  

10 stellar quarters

Sticks, good job son!  You're the new starter.

Um, Coach?

I take back whatever I said before.


How could I have been so blind?

Um, Coach....

No time to talk Sticks, there's a press conference out there with my name on it.

Post Game Talk:  Great job boys.

Did you see that time when Nebraska actually tried a forward pass? 

That was hilarious. 

Their quarterback throws like a girl.  Hah hah.


Yes, Sticks?

It's broken?

What? Pelini's heart?

No, my foot.

(Slap forehead) Whiskey. Tango.  F****

OC Simulator on when to bring in Sticks? Sticks starts and finishes. OC Simulator on Sticks' injury - oh #!$@#%!

(Of course, this is where the season starts to get tricky).


Texas A&M

LR Pre-Game QB Strategy:  On the one hand, the Aggies lost to Kansas State by like 50 points, but we beat Kansas State by like 50 points.  On that basis the point spread will probably be like 100 or something points in our favor.   On the other hand, both of my starting QBs are hurt.  What to do? 

Pass the Krispy Kremes, I'm sure everything will work out just fine.

Besides, our defense always plays well against dual threat QBs.

Should Sticks Start? No. Injured foot.

Does Sticks Play? No. See above.

Pep Talk:  Guys, the Aggies are our (using finger signs as quotation marks) "rivals."

Because over the years every game has been "so close."

And you never know "what's going to happen." 

Let's bring it home by half time. I want to get home in time for SportsCenter so I can watch Craig James.

Oh and Defense, I know you had the week off and everything, but just be sure to remember that their QB likes to run every now and then.

What's that?

Sure, what the hey, we can play with 10 guys.

Game Comments: 

First Quarter

First possession: 80 yard TD drive, 54 yard TD pass to Torres.  Textbook.

7-0 Texas Tech 

TAMU fumbles on the first play of the ensuing possession.  Wake me up when it's over.

Second possession: Facemask and offsides penalties.  Potts goes 0 for 2.  Punt.

TAMU:  86 yard drive in 9 plays. Touchdown.  


Potts 4 for 4 and then throws INT.  Dammit.

TAMU:  3 and out. Ok let's capitalize.

Potts:  5 for 5.  86 yard drive. 26 yard TD to Ed Britton!

14-7 Texas Tech

TAMU.  76 yard drive in 6 plays.  Touchdown. 


Potts:  3 for 4. Turnover on downs at the Aggie 29. 

TAMU:   71 yard drive. Touchdown. 

14-21 Aggies

Potts:  0-1.  3 and out. Crap.

TAMU: 73 yard drive.  Touchdown. 

14-28 Aggies

Potts: 7 for 7 and then throws and INT on the Aggie 17 to close first half.  (Shake head.)

Half Time Speech

Guys, this is bad. Real bad. 

Defense. They have a QB who passes and runs.  Worry about the run first. 

Yes, like Michael Vick.

What?  Well, yeah, I mean he was pretty good, but it's not like Atlanta really ever did anything.

What?  No. I don't know if he's into pitbulls like Vick.

Yes, it was an awful thing. 

I agree.  I'm not sure if prison time was necessary, but, hey, come on we're getting distracted here!  Focus on the game. 

And Potts, we throw touchdowns at Texas Tech.  Understand? 

(Sticks shakes head).

Third Quarter

TAMU: 78 yard drive. Six plays. Touchdown Aggies.

14-35 Aggies

Potts: 4 for 8. Sack.  Punt.  Come on guys! Remember the Insight Bowl!

TAMU:  Three and out.  That's more like it!

Potts: 1 for 1 for a 5 yard loss.  Sack and fumbles. Aggies recover.  Sigh.

TAMU:  Aggies drive 29 yard and kick a field goal. 

14-38 Aggies

OK that's enough Potts.

Let's bring in the guy with the funny name and see what he can do. 

Doege's first drive: 3 for 10. Tech punts. Wow, talk about your deer meets headlights moment. 

Come on Dago!

Sticks: Doege.


Sticks: No, Doege.


Sticks: Day-gee

Right.  Doege. Sorry Doege. You know, third string and all. 

Somebody find me someone else to hold my clipboard - I mean napkin!

TAMU: Punts.

Doege: 24 yard TD drive. Stephens rushing TD.  Doege connects on a two point conversion.

That boy can play!!

OK, end of 3rd quarter. 

Enough screwing around! Let the comeback begin!

22-38 Aggies

Fourth Quarter

TAMU: Punt! Yes!!

Doege: 3 for 3. RB fumbles.  That's not good.  4 turnovers.

TAMU:  Aggies drive 46 yards and score a touchdown.  Wow, we've given up 45 points to the Aggies? That can't be right.

22-45 Aggies

Doege: 8 for 9.  Touchdown Red Raiders! Doege connects again on a 2 point conversion. 

30-45 Aggies

Since the opening possession, the kid's gone 13 for 15.   If we can get one more stop and score, we have a chance!!

TAMU: Aggies drive 43 yards.  8 out of 9 rushing plays.

30-52 Aggies 

Are you f***** kidding me?


Doege: 1 for 1. Sacked and fumbles.  Make that 5 turnovers.

Game over. 

Post Game Talk:  Babble babble.. . at the Jones?  And we let . . .Babble. . . Mike Frickin Sherman? Babble babble.. . .

OC Simulator on when to bring in Sticks? No Sticks for you.



LR Pre-Game QB Strategy:  Well that was just terrible.

On the bright side, my favorite game of the year. 

A week's worth of Mangino jokes. 

Have to reach Potts. 

Is he still suffering from a concussion? 

Has he lost his confidence.

We don't have concussions at Texas Tech. How is this possible?  

Why are all the players wearing "No More Potts" stickers on their helmets?

Too many questions. Head's spinning. 

A couple of snorts of the ole fire water should do the trick....there, that's better!

How the hell did we lose to the Aggies last week?  God, I hate Mike Sherman.  

Oh, well.  Next year.  There's always next year.

Let's give the kid with the two bad knees a shot and see what happens. 

If that doesn't work, let's have a halftime competition to see if we can find someone from the stands to throw it to Lyle Leong.

Is Sticks still whining about his foot?  (Shouting to no one in particular) Tell him to do more toe curls!!  Skinny footed little. . .

Should Sticks Start? No. Injured foot.

Does Sticks Play? No.  See above.

Pep Talk:   OK, see that guy on the other side of the stadium?

No, not that, that's a Port-a-Pottie.  Easy mistake.

Hah hah. You guy's are funny...

I never lose to that guy. 

He's the only college football coach that didn't play in college.

Sticks:  Neither did you Coach.

Rugby, Sticks. Intramurals were hell.

Game Comments: 

First Quarter: 

Doege 2 for 5. Punt. 

Doege Fumbles, KU recovers.  Here we go.

0-7 KU

Doege 4 for 7. Punt.

Doege 1 for 3.  Sack.  Punt. Oh boy.

Second Quarter:

Doege 2 for 2.  61 yard TD pass to Batch.  Thataway!


Doege 1 for 3. Sack. Punt.  Who says I don't like to punt?!

Doege 3 for 5. Sack. Punt.  Ok this is getting ridiculous.

Whitlock sacks Reesing and Tech recovers at the Kansas 2 yard line!

Ok Doege, just hand the ball to Batch and get out of the way! Touchdown Texas Tech! 

14-7 Texas Tech

Doege . Sack. Doege Fumbles, KU recovers.  Well on the bright side, at least Doege hasn't thrown any interceptions.

KU scores from the Tech 7. Some guy named Lubbock Smith picks up 5 yards. (Is somebody making this up???)


Doege 0-2.  End of half.  Doege's first half stat line:  13 for 28, 1 TD, 2 Fumbles, 5 sacks.

Half Time Speech

Ok Potts, did you see that?  No sacks, no fumbles, no INTs, hit the open man, and we're in business. 

You're in! 

Sticks:  Really getting into the weeds there Coach.

Details Sticks.  It's all about the little things.

Third Quarter

Potts:  5 for 8. Punt.

Potts: 2 for 5. Punt. If only Potts could get his confidence back like that guy in the movie Face Off. .. Nick What's-his-name.

We have a Todd Reesing sighting!  Not again.

14-21 KU

Fourth Quarter:

Potts 2 for 2.  RB's and OL take over.  Touchdown Red Raiders! 


LaRon Moore forces a fumble! Great job, LaRon! Wait, who's LaRon Moore?

Potts 0 for 1.  RB's and OL take over.  Touchdown Red Raiders!

28-21 Texas Tech

LaRon Moore forces fumble number 2 and he takes it to the house for a 31 yard touchdown!! 

35-21 Texas Tech

Potts 1 for 1. RB's and OL take over. Touchdown Red Raiders! 

42-21 Texas Tech

Post Game Talk:

Handoffs to the running back?  Big play defense?  What's going on here?  Whatever it is, we gotta get Sticks back and fast!

OC Simulator on when to bring in Sticks? No Sticks for you.


Oklahoma State

LR Pre-Game QB Strategy:  Must lure Tech's medical staff and trainers to an all-you-can-eat pizza place. Must trick doctor into signing medical clearance forms allowing Sticks to play.

Hey that was easier than I thought!

Those trainer/medical staff guys will sign anything! 

Should Sticks Start? Well, I mean the doctors said it was ok. 

Does Sticks Play? Just a little.

Pep Talk:  Why are those OK State guys holding up our Guns Up hand sign?  Weird.  Next thing you know they'll be running the Air Raid.

OK guys, see that man over there?  Yes, the 40 year old man guy.  Hah, hah, yes, yes with the 12 year old haircut. 

Just, you know, play hard and stuff. Ok? 

OK, not my best work, I realize.  But come on. It's Oklahoma State.  Didn't we beat them like 64 to 2 last year?

How about this?

Um, Wreck ‘Em?

Potts, how's the concussion? 

That's right Potts.  We don't have concussions at Texas Tech.

By the way, field's over there.

Sticks, how's the foot? 

No, no. Just curious, that's all.

Is that a new haircut?

Game Comments: 

First Quarter

Potts: 1 for 3. INT. 

Potts:  6 for 6.  Then 0-3.  Missed FG.

0-7 OSU.

Second Quarter

Pott:  2 for 5. Punt.

Potts:  3 for 6.  FG. 

3-7 OSU. 

You know, this is just not good enough...

Where's Sticks?

So, um, how's it going?

That's good. That's good.

Foot sure looks a lot better.

Yeah, I can see it's in a cast still.

On the bright side. It's only an aircast.

Sure, sure I know.

By the way, thanks for dressing up in pads today.  You know. Support the team and all.

So, um, since it just so happens that you're dressed, whaddya say about taken a couple of snaps out there?

Yeah, yeah I know.  Foot.  Right.

Team needs you. 

Sure, sure, I can see that.

Nope. No pressure. Your call, it's just, you know, we could really use you right now. 

Totally up to you.  Look, I understand.  You gotta think long term about these things. Absolutely.

So, um, did I mention that, um, scholarship reviews are next week?  


That's my boy!

Hey, what's the worst that could happen?

Sticks:  3 for 4.  Pick 6. @!#@#$

3-7 OSU

Sticks:  3 for 4.  TD to Torres!! 

10-7 Texas Tech

OK, here we go. Mind over matter.  Mind over matter.

Sticks:  5 for 6.  Punt.

Half Time Speech

Sticks:  Coach, I can't feel my leg. 

It's right there Sticks.

Come on guys, let keep it up!

Third Quarter



Sticks:  4 for 6.  Punt.

Wow, we only held the ball for 2 minutes and change that quarter?

Fourth Quarter

OSU:  58 play drive for 62 yards.  TD.

10-17 OSU

Gundy is the reason why I stopped combing my hair.

Sticks:  1 for 2.  Intentional grounding.  Hey, somebody get Potts out of there! 


Yes, Sticks.

Honestly, it feels like someone took a sledgehammer to it. 

That's right son.  Visualization.  Whatever it takes.

Sticks 0 for 1.  Pick 6. Two in one game! What are the odds? Come on!

10-24 OSU. 

Why is Sticks asking for a stretcher?

Alright Potts, you're in!

Potts:  2 for 3.  Touchdown Texas Tech!

17-24 OSU

Wall forces a fumble!!

Come on Potts, it's Graham Harrell time!!  98 seconds and 82 yards to go.

Potts: 4 for 9.  Turnover on downs.

Well isn't that just GREAT!!! 

(Throw napkin.)

Press conference:   Metatarsal?  Is that supposed to be some sort of cereal for old people?

Post Game Talk

Where's my team?  Has anyone seen my team?  Hmm, I seem to have lost my team.  They were just over there a minute a go...

OC Simulator on when to bring in Sticks?  My lawyer advises me not to answer that question.



LR Pre-Game QB Strategy:  Shame about Sticks.  Didn't see that one coming.  I guess we'll go with Potts.

Should Sticks Start? No.

Should Sticks Play? And No.

Pre-Game Talk: 

Look guys, I know you're sick of my crap. 

The yelling. 

The screaming. 

The berating.

Deciding who plays and who doesn't.

Some people might call it coaching, but I think I see where you're coming from.

So, I am just going to sit this one out.  I'm sure you boys can handle it on your own. 

Anybody can beat OU, right?  What's Gerald up to today?


Yes, Coach.

Take the napkin.

Um, Coach?

Yes, Sticks.

I think that's your resume.

Oh, sorry. I meant this one.

Thanks, Coach.

Cliffs' Notes:  Potts starts.  After a slow start and down 6-3, Tech scores 31 unanswered points.  Tech wins 41-13.  Best game of the season.

Post Game Talk

Vegas sure is fun.

Hey, just put it on my tab! Money's in the bank in 6 weeks.  I've got a contract with the State of Texas.  Don't worry about it!



LR Pre-Game QB Strategy:  Potts.  I think you've finally got it, young man.

Should Sticks Start? No. Foot.

Does Sticks Play? No.  Foot.

Pre-Game Talk: 

Let's j ust take it easy guys. It's not like we're really gonna lose.  I may have only beaten Texas twice, but I've beaten these guys like 28 times.

Besides, Briles is a friend. 

You know, I'm the first guy who ever hired him.

He actually loves Tech. 

Even graduated from here.

Said one day he hoped to be head coach here too. 

I thought that was funny.

I even wrote down in my diary.

"Art told me a joke today.  He said he wants to be the head coach of Texas Tech. It was very funny."

Always great at helping me with the boosters and the Admin, that guy.

You know, building bridges, protecting my backside and all that.

First Quarter

Wow, it's like a Space Ship in here.

0-3 Baylor.

Potts:  18 plays. 66 yards. Most. Boring. Drive. Ever. INT. Uggh!

Potts:  0 for 3. Punt.

Second Quarter

0-10 Baylor. 

OK, let's bring in the first team.

Potts:  1 for 3. Turnover on downs.


Not even if you paid me, Coach.

Right Sticks!

What are the fans saying?  They're so far away.

Sounds like "We love cops?"

Now that's weird.

Potts:  3 for 4. Punt.

Potts:  2 for 2.  First and goal on the Baylor 2!

Ok guys, this is what we live for!

Hand off to Batch.  1 yard gain Second and Goal from the 1. 

Hand off to Batch.  0 gain.  Third and Goal from the 1. Timeout.


Coach? Coach?  Coach!!!

What, snort, what? Sorry Potts. Just you know. Whatever you want.  Triple flea flicker.  I don't care. It's Baylor.

Potts:  Incomplete.  Dropped pass. Come on!  You're supposed to be the Second Coming! Fourth down.

Go for it Coach? 

No Potts.  We're not going anywhere.


Half Time Speech

Guys, I think I'll just wait for the post game speech on this one, ok?

Third Quarter

Texas Tech fumble on the opening play.

Baylor FG. 

3-13 Baylor


Yes, Coach?

Remember. There is no next year. Only today.

Got it?

Potts:  5 for 5. Touchdown!

10-13 Baylor

Tech Interception!!

Potts:  2 for 2.  Touchdown!

17-13 Texas Tech

Potts: 3 for 3.  Punt.

Potts: 4 for 7. Turnover on downs.

Potts:  3 for 6.  FG! 

20-13 Texas Tech

Post Game Talk:  I think we've all heard it.  Like poetry, it is.


Michigan State:

Pep Talk:  I'm not really allowed to talk to you guys.  Yeah, well, this one's gonna go to court, so may the best lawyer win.   

That's the way life is, you know. 

Sometimes you have to go for it on 4th and 27 from your own 9 yard line in the second quarter.  

Sometimes you just have to call your Dad.

Remember that.

<em>This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Viva The Matadors' writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Viva The Matadors' writers or editors.</em>

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