Tired of always having to have your team prove itself on an actual field? Are you sick of little things like "losses" keeping you from automatically being given whatever you want?
We'll call the alternate reality game "Check Out Them Horns!". In the game, the player (a UT fan) can pretty much do whatever he likes and say whatever he wants. No matter what comes to pass in the game, eventually the player can hit the "Sampson Option" and make it all come out the way he wants.
In the first level, the player asserts absurd things that never happen, but eventually all things work together to make them come to pass, and if they don't, he makes it to the next level.
Level 1 play - assertions vs. results
1. The player insists that OU never "jump" Texas in the polls, because Texas beat OU, and therefore in no circumstances may the game allow OU to "jump" Texas.
2. The player insists that Texas "jump" Tech no matter who they lose to. This way, Texas backs into a game they couldn't get to on their own. If Tech says, "Wait a minute buddy... we BEAT YOU!" You merely sneer and order a Latte, hit "refresh" and you get your way.
3. The player insists that Tech absolutely in no way could beat OU. Period. Even though Texas beat OU handily, and Tech beat Texas in every single measurable facet of the game, and then demolished OSU. When in doubt, player uses the "head to head comparisons never work". Then he says, "Because we beat OU, when OU beats Tech, we automatically should be #1".
4. Player hits history button to see the results of his past play. The player had argued before the Kansas game... "Tech hasn't played ANYBODY. Kansas is their first big road test!" Result, Kansas demolished on the road. Player replies, "Well, obviously Kansas sucked" MAJOR points scored there! Player then argued, "but Tech will lose to Texas (of course), how DARE they think they can win against UT... IMPOSSIBLE. They STILL haven't played anyone." Result, Tech smashes Texas in the mouth. Player responds, "Well, it was the refs! And, we had a bad night! And, we were tired! And, we spotted them three quarters and still almost won (the almost win ploy, learned from the aggies), And, we should get a do-over! Anyway, NO WAY Tech beats OSU. We played OSU and they pulled an "almost win" on us! We barely won by 4! They are AWESOME!" Result, OSU gets smacked in the mouth.
5. Player, back in real time, now asserts, as before mentioned, that Tech hasn't played anyone (EVEN US), is overrated, and will certainly lose to OU... Hits "Make it SO" button, and then goes to sleep, dreaming of falling backwards into a BCS trophy full of spongy, sugary, "we just deserve it" marshmallows.If the "Make it SO" button doesn't work properly, Player begins devising mischievous schemes to have a meteor hit the Jones during the Baylor game, which brings him to LEVEL 2.
The player can program it so Tech is going to lose even if he has to put all the jet planes on the equator and fire them up at the same time in order to alter the corealis effect and make Graham Harrell throw a few more INT's and maybe give Crabtree vertigo
No matter what the player does, UT backs into a Big 12 Championship, and then a National Championship.
I'm serious. BIG MONEY HERE. This game would make crack seem like aspirin. Every UT fan would buy one or two.
This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Viva The Matadors' writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Viva The Matadors' writers or editors.